Simon Cowell strictly against a ratings war

Simon Cowell has come out to say that he does not think that the BBC is doing a good thing by placing Strictly Come Dancing up against his X Factor show. This is not about sour grapes, it is just that Simon thinks that licence fee payers could enjoy both shows. He's a fan of Strictly so he's not grinding an axe here. Sounds all very plausible.

However, I sense he's got a bit of an ITV feather protruding from his impresario's hat. He is asking ITV to shift X Factor. Now there was a time when ITV, in the form of Granada, LWT or Thames Television, would relish the thought of humbling the BBC in a ratings war. Not anymore. Now we live in a recession, where TV advertisers are keen to see guaranteed audiences. With so much other than terrestrial television for people to watch, ITV is getting currant buns instead of a slice of the cake. It stands to reason advertisers want to keep ITV programmes in front of as many of the dwindling number of viewers as they can.

The BBC is not phased, though. They blame Merlin for the timing of Strictly. Simon Cowell and ITV may need their own wizard to conjure up a few tricks if they are to combat BBC spin!

Simon Cowell before he was famous!

Here is Simon Cowell on Sale of the Century. Was this the last time he wore a suit and tie in public? YouTube embedding is "disabled by request". Who requested that I wonder?

And Simon Cowell has a new lady in his Idol life. Ellen de Generes is going to be a judge on American Idol. Standby for American Public Opinion to be split down the middle!

Susan Boyle off the boil?

I had the pleasure of watching the semi-final episode of "Britain's Got Talent", in which Susan Boyle appeared, on ITV Player. When she came on, the vision was mysteriously removed from the TV screen. However, this can't have happened on the actual night as Ant & Dec twittered on as if all was OK. So I "watched" Ms Boyle in sound only. And I have to say I didn't think it was as good as the first outing. My view, or hearing I should say, is that I feel she will probably go the whole way.

The British public has got a John Sargent moment again. Part of the reason for voting for Susan Boyle is that she represents the underdog. She can also sing at a level that entrances audiences. They will vote for her to spite Simon Cowell, to involve the nation in a bit of come-uppance, and to have fun. This show is weird in many respects. And the pressure is mounting on Boyle. Apparently she lost her temper in a north London hotel. Piers Morgan said Boyle has been in "floods of tears" this week and is suffering from "crippling" nerves. Something alien to him!

I get the feeling that the audiences want a mixture between a talent show and the Gong Show. Ant & Dec oblige them all the way. However, Simon Cowell is another matter. He basically devised this show so that he could get an annual income out of a collection of record making warblers. (I broke off here and happened to see a bit of tonight's show and heard Cowell say he wasn't in it for the money just there to "put something back" - Amanda Holden nearly had a fit). As he so delicately put it to the saxophone guy (without the saxophone!), "You can't make records out of that!". Cowell wants a talent show only. One wonders if he has given too much cart blanche to the people who select the entries in the first place.

He winced at the wheelbarrow tossing farmers, he derided the brother and sister dance act (making the girl cry) and is generally offish about non-singing acts. Either this show is for all kinds of acts or it is just a singing talent show. At the moment, if you don't have that record contract ability, you might as well not bother.

Susan Boyle could also cause Cowell a few problems. He has gone on record as saying that there are better singers than her in the contest. He was a bit taken aback by her global internet success but managed to compose himself enough to do the rounds such as the Oprah Show. But if Susan doesn't win the title she may be signed to some other management. Then we'd get the eventual winner competing for attention with Ms Boyle. Simon Cowell may want sign her anyway, just to keep her in check.

It's a good laugh and Britain certainly has got talent, but it is only a fun show and it's probably best left like that.

The Susan Boyle commodity

Susan Boyle came on the world scene about a month ago. Before then she was just an ordinary person living in an ordinary town in Scotland. Now she has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, been virally spread round the internet, become an icon for Homer Simpson, and touted as a future jungle queen by the mandarins at ITV. In fact, Susan could be the lifesaver for ITV in much the same way as Roland Rat saved TVam!

Suan Boyle has become a money spinning commodity. Simon Cowell is keen to make money out of her. Andrew Lloyd Webber has intimated he has an interest. She is very much a wanted woman. Her family say she is cracking up under the strain, her friends say she is enjoying it, her cat is bewildered by it all. She says she loves it. Everyone has an opinion.

Angela Tilby, the BBC's favourite female cleric, opines that Susan Boyle reminds her of Jesus. Her 'inner gift' and her 'authority' reminded her of Christ, apparently. "When she came on people laughed, but as she opened her mouth the mood altered. Those watching tapped into something we don't understand," Tilby is quoted her as saying. They may have tapped into something, but I tend to doubt it was that. She said this on Thought For the Day. Liberal theology is sometimes too free-thing for its own good. Tilby is often described as a vicar. Actually, she's not, she's a vice-principal of a theological college. But all C of E clerics are vicars to the outside world!

The world does look for a way of beating the hum-drum daily life. Susan Boyle fits that bill. She is attractive to people for all the wrong reasons. Some see money-making in her, some see a source of endless discussion, whilst others are keen to enjoy her as a spectacle. Susan Boyle may be her name, but it is the name of many other women too. 47 Susan Boyles have tried to join Facebook but found they cannot do so. "Not the Susan Boyle you were looking for?" Apparently not!

A weird and wacky world indeed!