Gordon Brown gets a Monday morning visit!

He must have thought his week was starting well. Visit the kirk, chat to friends, fly back to Downing Street for business as usual. Then he gets a visit from his best friends. Lord Mandelson, who has more capricious relationships than any person, led the charge. Ed Balls is in there now (a trusted friend?) and that wily Alastair Campbell, who seems to have been on high dose antacid tablets recently. I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Gordon Brown's minister said he prayed for all even if he disagreed with them. He better do something different today. Get down on his knees (not very Presbyterian!) and pray like mad that Mandelson is not up to some vile trickery!

Lord Mandelson - Cheeky Git!

Lord Mandelson says that a hung parliament might give "disproportionate power" to the Lib Dems. Does he know what disproportionate power is exactly? If he doesn't, then I'll tell him.

Firstly, it's throwing your weight around in cabinet or the corridors of power, spinning against your colleagues and generally acting as a prince of darkness.

Secondly, it's deluding yourself that you can govern a country when only 20% of the total electorate have actually decided to affirm your party as the right one to govern.

Peter Mandelson does actually know about disproportionate power. He has lived with the knowledge that all his dealings and dodges have been about making sure the scales are weighted in his favour. So he's the last person in the country to be talking about disproportionate power!

Weasel wordsmith Mandelson!

Listening to Lord Mandelson on the Today Programme one wonders if he believes the British public will be conned by his slippery ways. He uses the mantra "wise spenders, not big spenders", and goes on to denounce the Tories by wildly fantasising on what a Conservative government would do. All fantasy. He suggests Conservatives will introduced private health, cut costs like some crazed hedge-cutter on speed, and generally spite the poor.

If anyone has done these things or attempted to do these things then it is the mortgage-fiddling Mandelson and his New Labour government. If we believe him, we are fools indeed!

Rover update

More on the Phoenix Four from the BBC. They shouldn't be linked with a phoenix. Instead of rising from the ashes they are responsible for the demise, although they will have to be dragged trough a hedge backwards before they admit to that. A vulture is a more appropriate bird for them to be linked with.

Lord Mandelson seems genuinely aggrieved. He has criticised the men for not showing "an ounce of humility" and has called on them to apologise. He may have a long wait!

Gordon Brown in army helicopter fantasy!

Gordon Brown's wonderland excursion on Wednesday at PMQs was a fantasy of the first order. Now the Chief of the Defence Staff, Sir Jock Stirrup, has said the deployment of more helicopters to Afghanistan would save soldiers' lives. Brown wittered on about the exact opposite. Now he is backtracking like a boy in front of the headmaster found out for telling fibs!

David Cameron said the government must listen to military commanders. "The prime minister has been telling us all week that they have got enough helicopters and actually now we know they don't," he said. What on earth are we to make of it all?

Someone keen to keep his weasel words up to scratch is Lord Mandelson. This interview from the BBC shows why he is such a wily character.

Mandelson is no willie!

I've been busy today but I couldn't help breaking off and posting this. Just so great to see Mandelson's brain shifting a couple of gears. Mean trick to play on a machievellian type like our Peter!

Gordon Brown garotted by Rockabilly Blears!

Gordon Brown's got a year to think about whether he jacks it in and becomes a visiting lecturer (highly paid!) or soldiers on, with the possibility of doing his health in. He's looking decidely jaded and fraught at the moment. Apparently he is upping the moodiness to such a degree that civil servants have to give him some good news before he gets the bad.

Into the fray comes the ever grinning Hazel Blears. She took Tony Blair's grin from the Cheshire Cat when he left Downing Street. Hazel knows how to kick-start an ailing engine and she's just given Gordon a boot in the gonads.

This is a fast moving show and all manner of performers are coming on stage to do an act. The audience has left the theatre, but no worries, the cast keeps going if only the script was the same for each.

Hazel Blears is right to say that they were "on the wrong side of the British sense of fair play, and no party can stay there for long without dire consequences". However, she may be whistling the wrong tune for Gordon Brown. He is notoriously stubborn and is now severely isolated. Somebody needs to knock on his door and tell him the game's up. Maybe Peter Mandelson is that person. He knows how to tell someone that bad news is really good news!

Mandelson takes it on the chin - with a smile!

I think Lord Mandelson reacted very well. She's lucky it wasn't Prescott lammimg into her. A lot of hair pulling and screaming would have ensued. On both sides no doubt!

Mandelson in green custard attack!

Whatever one may think of Lord Mandelson he is a government minister and he is trying to work things out. As a member of the Cabinet I do think he is entitled to some dignity and a bit of respect. I disagree fundamentally with an awful lot of what he says, but he deserves to be spoken to in a civilised manner. The young woman who decided to splatter his face with green custard is no respecter of civilised debate and certainly no respecter of the law. How did we know it was only custard? And what of those with Lord Mandelson? They allowed the woman to walk off. Have they not heard of a citizen's arrest? Common assault was the least of her wrongdoing.

Politics in general and differences of opinion are best dealt with by discussion. This woman, Leila Deen, shows only petty anger and childish stunt abilities. If she is so concerned about airport expansion let her tell us about it. All we now know is that she is a competent custard thrower.

Plane Stupid is one of those "cause" outfits, rather like the anti-hunting mob. They are more concerned about being in a tribal cause group that they are bothered by the thing they are supposedly campaigning against. It's rather like football crowds going week after week because not to is seen as being disloyal to the tribe.

The picture above shows the pompous little tit, Leila Deen that is, standing over Lord Mandelson. She says, "That such a clearly corrupt human being is still in government, despite being unelected, is an affront to democracy and a threat to any hope we have of stopping the impact that climate change is already beginning to have on our lives. We have a tiny window left to stop climate change. I want to tell my children that I did not stand back and applaud as Mandelson ruined our last chance."

So she takes the law into her own hands. Her high-minded zealotry is itself an attack on democrcy. This small collection of 'affinity groups' (as they say!) are running around in a gaggle of ill disciplined cells. They have no place in a democratic country, for they would be the first to sit in judgement over others, rather like a dictator.

I am against the Heathrow Expansion for the simple reason that we do not need it. Mandelson may have been cosying up to the BAA bosses, but that will all come out in debate. This action helps neither the science of climate change nor the decisions concerning the airport industry.

Mandelson starbucks Howard Schultz

Lord Mandelson has gone back to his roots, his New Labour roots, and has gone into a swearing rage over remarks that Howard Schultz, Starbucks chairman said to CNBC's Mario Bartiromo. Can't think he said anything that wasn't true.

Mandelson went ape, or was it more like a rabid rodent, and an apology was extracted from Schutlz. I would have thought it would have been more appropriate for the enobled sleaze merchant to start the apology process. After all, he has a series of wrong doings for which he has never apologised for. And he can't now be so pompously self-righteous about Boris Johnson's colourful language if his own verbal dexterity leaves the average Anglo-Saxon blushing!

Banking on patriotism?

Bankers are flocking to the aid of the country! They have a renewed sense of patriotism. They........ I'm dreaming. None of this is true. In fact, they are turning patriotism on its head. Lloyds Bank chief Eric Daniels, who is masterminding his way through piles of cash donated by the Treasury to bail him out of hoplessness defies political reason. He is determined to plough ahead with plans to offer generous payouts to top staff. He has defied advisers who have warned that this will inflame public revulsion over 'rewards for failure'.

What will it take for this insensitive money changer to see sense. People are losing their jobs, are fearful of what is to come for them financially and this snout trougher is carrying on as normal. welll, normal for him. John Sargent was on the Andrew Marr show this morning and, with incredulity in his mind, asked when would the penny drop for these guys. When indeed?

Lord Mandelson is gradually stepping up the pressure on them, but I doubt they will do anything unless forced to. Eric Daniels is a poor sort of patriotic banker. It may get to the stage with riots in the streets. Perhaps he could do the decent thing before he finds his head enmeshed in railings outside his corporate offices?

If his case is that his staff will flee the country if the money boxes don't appear, give them some sort of incentive package that rewards their effort in returning the country to a sound financial footing.

If not, he can sing for his supper!

Ken Clarke in Tory front bench return!

Well, he's back. He's going to be shadow business secretary, taking on the oleaginous Lord Mandelson. Clarke may be distrusted by many Tories inside and outside the Conservative Party for his pro-European leanings. However, in my opinion he is a very excellent performer, a demolisher of humbug (Mandelson's stock in trade!), and a man who can put forward an argument in ways that the electorate understands. In that, he is an excellent choice.

Put him in the House of Commons or on TV, and we will see the slippery Mandelson's plotlines unravel very fast. We need people with the will to get to grips with this financial mess. Funnily enough, it's occurred to me that a pincer action between Clark and Cable in the Commons would be the political death for this New Labour outrage of a government.

Strictly Andy Mandy

Peter Mandelson has let it be known that he is slightly envious of John Sargent's dancing technique. He's also got an eye on the ratings. So Peter wants to be considered as a Strictly Come Dancing competitor. I think this is an excellent idea. Whilst I deplore his political habits, I must confess that there is a bit to be admired about Mandelson. Now I'm not going overboard, just recognising that he does have an element of star quality about him.

Peter is no shrinking violet. More a rose with thorns in the wrong places. However, I strongly suggest that the BBC gives serious thought to this. Mandelson on the floor will be a ratings success for the BBC. Detractors and fans will watch in equal measure. Can you imagine the brilliance of it all?

Bruce: "Craig, your comments, please."
Craig: "Well, you do surprise me! Not exactly a star performance, but you managed to come back from your early mistake. I'd say you've gone from Prince of Darkness to Queen of the Dancefloor!"
Bruce: "Nicely put, Craig, I'm sure. Bruno?"
Bruno: "He took the words out of my mouth! What more can I say? A tour de force, darling!"

It will be fantastic. If the BBC is worried about political balance, then Vince Cable is desperate for a go too. That leaves the matter of who the Tory Twinkletoes will be.

Any suggestions?

Mandy makes it it ermine!

Lord Mandelson has arrived, courtesy of the gravy train (no stops allowed!), in the House of Lords. This piece from the BBC shows fellow peers watching the proceedings in stony silence, until the obligatory roar of approval.

We will have to wait and see whether he is able to break the mould. At the despatch box he will have to cut a different cloth. However, the peers are not a herd and their instinct is not always determinable. In that he may be lucky (again!).

Mandelson's comeback causes outrage

As it sinks in, the shock of knowing that Peter Mandelson is back in the cabinet, we are all taking stock. The poor wretches in the DTI, or whatever it is now, were filmed looking shellshocked as their revisiting boss grinned and simpered in front of them. If they are feeling a tad weasy what about the rest of us?

Gordon Brown is a desperate man. To have such a character back in the fold is very peculiar. Either he is gifted and insightful, or he is just barking. Brown never really comes across as capable of "mixing" except with those especially close to him. He must have been agonising over the decision.

I fear it will cause him problems, and all of us for that matter. Mandelson can be given some credit for saying he's not a quitter. But he has a track record for backstabbing, briefing against people and generally living up to his Mr Sleaze title. That title now, of course, is Lord Sleaze. He's had two public chunkings-out from the cabinet. He'll be well advised to heed Ronnie Barker's chararacter Norman Stanley Fletcher, when he said "Keep your nose clean, do your time". Mandelson's time will end when the electorate chucks the whole sorry lot out. (I'm glad that creepy Des Browne's gone!)