Britain's Got Talent and Hazel and Caroline and...

"The winners of Britain's Got Talent 2010! It's the Division Belles!!!" So declare Ant and Dec to a delighted crowd. "You thought there was nothing for you after the Cabinet, then Hazel? You certainly proved him wrong!"

Hazel, Caroline, Beverley, Laura, Meg, Joan and Dari all take a bow and Simon Cowell wonders what to do next. The Division Belles are stars.

Hazel Blears is not without talent. She shouldn't waste it on the Labour Party. Beverley Hughes has resigned too. Caroline Flint is thinking of packing it in, I hear. Come on, get tapping Hazel. Gather your chums around you. You can win that show. Go global like Susan. Oprah will have you on her show. It will be a ball! I can't wait.

And with that fantasy in my head, I'm going to bed!

Chipmunk gophers Gordon's nuts!

Hazel Blears has decided that the time has come to take a gouge out of Gordon, politically speaking of course. Today she has resigned from the Cabinet as Communities Secretary in order to spend more time in her community, namely Salford. Yesterday it was the Home Secretary, tomorrow will it be someone else. Not Geoff Hoon, because he hasn't got the scruples or even the photo montage kid, James Purnell, who is equally guilty of expense immorality. These two, though, have not done anything to upset the Presbyterian Conscience. Hazel did, even though her misdemeanors were so similar as to warrant a forensic examination to spot the difference.

So, Hazel has gone. This government isn't imploding, it's exploding. It's more like a firecracker with lots of little explosions. Those explosions get bigger by the day.

PMQs is coming up soon. I'll be watching to see how it all goes for the Prime Minister. Watch for a lot of gulping air from him and glum faces from those behind him. Jack Straw's face is the one to watch. If he doesn't look supportive, I reckon he will be choosing the words to use when he tells Gordon that the game's up!

Hazel hands over £13,332 to salvage her Salford hopes!

Hazel Blears has decided to hand over to the HMRC the amount she would have paid in Capital Gains tax on her flipped homes, had she been liable. She has given an interview to the TV media about why she has decided to do this. No mention of sorry, rather that the system or the fees office made her flip her home. Maybe it did, but she still appears to have profited from the episode.

She now realises that the public are up in arms and rightly so. Gordon Brown has been like a sloth descending a tree to see what's going on in the jungle. I bet he's not best pleased, to put it mildly, that she has taken the tip from David Cameron to put houses in order (no pun intended!). Brown has been very peculiar in the whole affair.

I find it very odd that the politicians caught out kept on about the system. Communists after the fall of the Berlin Wall said the very same thing. It was the system that told them, etc, etc.

Gradually things are coming together. We cannot allow as a nation our parliament to be brought into disrepute. Things have to change fast. However, it's going to be shown up as a red card at the Euro elections. Norman Tebbitt has only amplified what I hear in the post office and local shops. It's a plague on all your houses talk. At least Hazel Blears is coming to the realisation that the game's up. And she's dispensed with the grin. All sombre and serious, mindful of the mire the ones who have taken advantage are in.

Hazel Blears can't say sorry!

Hazel Blears says she understands why the public is so enraged. No she doesn't. She hasn't a clue. If she just admitted that she made a misjudgement in claiming expenses to the maximum by going on spending sprees each March the electorate may forgive her. But by saying she has done nothing wrong and complied with the regulations she takes the electorate's views with contempt.

I'm glad to see, though, that she has given the Cheshire Cat's grin back!

Gordon Brown the "nothing wrong" Prime Minister

Gordon Brown says he did "nothing wrong". He claimed £6,500 in expenses to pay his brother for a cleaner. Something wrong there!

Hazel Blears says she did "nothing wrong". She claimed three different properties were her "second home". Something wrong there!

Jack Straw says he did "nothing wrong". He claimed for council tax paid at the full rate - when he was getting a 50% discount. Something wrong there!

All three dodgy customers with a thick skin for spin and deception. Their moral compasses have hit magnetic north and south at the same time.

There are others too. The list goes on. Gordon Brown thinks a clocking on scheme will do the trick. No it won't. We want our MPs paid properly with provision for proper expenses. All out in the open. It should have stopped years ago, when all this first surfaced. So much for criticising John Major. He never so much as got Terry a cleaner. His brother would have been mortified.

Sir Stuart Bell, who sits on the House of Commons supervisory body, said he believed the leak had breached the Data Protection Act and may refer it to the information commissioner. Don't waste your time, Sir Stuart, or more public money. We have a right to know if our politicians are corrupt or are behaving corruptly. This is the information the information commissioner should know about.

Gordon Brown garotted by Rockabilly Blears!

Gordon Brown's got a year to think about whether he jacks it in and becomes a visiting lecturer (highly paid!) or soldiers on, with the possibility of doing his health in. He's looking decidely jaded and fraught at the moment. Apparently he is upping the moodiness to such a degree that civil servants have to give him some good news before he gets the bad.

Into the fray comes the ever grinning Hazel Blears. She took Tony Blair's grin from the Cheshire Cat when he left Downing Street. Hazel knows how to kick-start an ailing engine and she's just given Gordon a boot in the gonads.

This is a fast moving show and all manner of performers are coming on stage to do an act. The audience has left the theatre, but no worries, the cast keeps going if only the script was the same for each.

Hazel Blears is right to say that they were "on the wrong side of the British sense of fair play, and no party can stay there for long without dire consequences". However, she may be whistling the wrong tune for Gordon Brown. He is notoriously stubborn and is now severely isolated. Somebody needs to knock on his door and tell him the game's up. Maybe Peter Mandelson is that person. He knows how to tell someone that bad news is really good news!

Hazel Blears armed with shears?

Hazel Blears has been talking a lot to Dominic Lawson. He's very good at listening. And then writing down all he's heard! Hazel is spot on at talking. She's like a human canary that just loves to sing. However, a lot of what she says is just waffle that is very easy to agree with but very easy to feel baffled about.

She says, "I personally am one of the few cabinet ministers who come from a very working-class background – a traditional Salford two-up, two-down terrace house. Mum and Dad left school at 14; and I know that the old stateist system didn't work for the people I come from." So New Labour does? She doesn't seem bothered about an alternative to the stateist system, but I agree it doesn't work.

She says, of David Cameron, "Some of the polling I've seen recently says that Cameron is likeable, and that's the most often-used word about him – but also inexperienced." She implies that inexperience is not a good thing, but Blair was inexperienced. How does she think she got her experience?

Dominic Lawson says that "Hazel Blears is one of those rare politicians who find it almost physically impossible to dissemble. Perhaps this is why she is able to remain so cheerful at such a difficult time: unlike some of her colleagues she is not burdened by the constant strain of denial. Telling it like it is makes life so much easier." She does tell it, but I'm not so sure it is like it is but her perception of it. Also, by just telling us stuff wihout giving us any idea of what could be possible politically, we have a rare bird indeed!