Sir Stuart Bell says New Labour is dead!

Sir Stuart Bell has just told the BBC that New Labour died on general election night. It won't be an expensive funeral. No flowers, please. Just a contribution to the ex-cabinet ministers' wake. New Labour was always a steamy sleazy policy-lite political con. Sir Stuart Bell probably took it as long as he could.

DUP to take over the LibDem opposition benches?

When the LibDems go into coalition government what will become of Nick Clegg's opposition seat in the House of Commons? Will the Democratic Unionist Party pitch up on this bench? Interesting times. I suspect though that Labour MPs will get in quick to squeeze Paisley Jnr out. Dennis Skinner will be in PDQ to sit there. Could be an unseemly tussle.

Cameron to be PM by 9 PM!

David Cameron will be prime minister by 9 o'clock tonight. And the New Labour project goes into oblivion. Great!

Labour losers line up for contest

This is how the BBC describes the likely candidates for Labour leadership.

Policy wonk-turned-Blairite frontrunner - David Miliband
Smooth-talking ex-postman and possible caretaker? - Alan Johnson
Feminist comeback queen - Harriet Harman
Calm throughout the storm - but uncharismatic? - Alistair Darling
Hard-hitting Brown loyalist - Ed Balls
David's Brownite younger brother - Ed Miliband
Fresh-faced, friendly, ready? - Andy Burnham
Philosophical left-winger - John Cruddas

Hardly a group that will set the Nation's pulses racing. If that's the choice, well.... and I hope Harriet Harperson doesn't get it, or the Miliband Brothers. Isn't there anybody else?

Sally Bercow's biccie time

Sally Bercow is on Twitter. She tweets, "OK Lib Dems - kettle's on. Biccie? I've got HobNobs, Custard Creams, Chocolate Digestives... whatever you like (apart from Jammy Dodgers)." Do we really want people like her running the country?

Gordon Brown gets a Monday morning visit!

He must have thought his week was starting well. Visit the kirk, chat to friends, fly back to Downing Street for business as usual. Then he gets a visit from his best friends. Lord Mandelson, who has more capricious relationships than any person, led the charge. Ed Balls is in there now (a trusted friend?) and that wily Alastair Campbell, who seems to have been on high dose antacid tablets recently. I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Gordon Brown's minister said he prayed for all even if he disagreed with them. He better do something different today. Get down on his knees (not very Presbyterian!) and pray like mad that Mandelson is not up to some vile trickery!

1 versus 100 - Picking a PM

Some media types are getting all in a muddle because they can't fathom out what's going on. How about forgetting all this cloak and dagger stuff. Try a round of "1 vs 100" with Caroline Lucas taking on 100 randomly-picked MPs. Be a lot more interesting!

Hung, drawn or quartered?

With many pundits idly predicting a hung parliament the country is being lambasted by those who see a hung parliament as greater problem than a cabal of dodgy bankers, politicians and business people. The voters are being told that they need to choose "strong" government.

However if we wake up on Friday morning with a prime minister who has a derisory vote share, we could be joining the Greeks by the end of the month. Not in such financial crisis, but in turmoil over the democratic deficit.

First nightmare scenario. Gordon Brown gets the largest number of seats (not an overall majority) but gets less than a third of the popular vote. He is determined to carry on.

Second nightmare scenario. David Cameron gets the largest number of seats (not an overall majority) but gets less than a third of the popular vote. He is determined to become prime minister.

Third nightmare scenario. There is a dead heat in seats between the Tories and Labour (no magic winning number) with the Liberal Democrats coming a respectable third. However, the LibDems get just as many percentage votes as the Tories, resulting in a tie for first place.

Each of these outcomes will cause resentment and bitterness. The country is divided. I've lost count of the number of people I have come across who have yet to decide. Some may never get around to it. If the Abstentionist Party gets a good showing, then the present percentages being touted for the three main parties look rather paltry when put against the total electorate.

Gordon Brown inherited a premiership on 20% of the total electorate's support. The country accepted that democratic deficit in 2005. In 2010 they will not accept ANY democratic deficit. In order to get out of the impending deadlock, the politicians that arrive in Westminster next week will have to get together rather than follow a playground punchup.