Money grows on trees - or out of thin air! OFFICIAL!!

Anyone wanting to find out the scams and schemes that bankers get up to should watch this video which gives a very good description of the fractional reserve banking system. Essentially this is a grand money printing exercise or, in the current computer world, a digital dollar production. Shocking or what?

Bankers thought the Chancellor was really rather lenient on them in the Budget. He may have been, but should we? Sooner or later this balloon is going to pop big time. I see the Rev. Stephen Green, Anglican priest and chief of the HSBC Banking Group is off to Canada for a B20 meeting. This group has been set up to shadow the shenanigans of the G20. I'm still figuring out how the reverend gentleman squares up dominical teaching with modern day money changing. It's currently too warm for my brain to cogitate properly, but I'll be giving it some further thought. However, it does appear that HSBC has been steered in a way that may reflect Christian stewardship as a component part, so a fractional part of the stewardship may have been implemented!

Budget taxes but no flights of fancy

I knew we would be given the stick first and carrot second. It doesn't appear too bad all round. The Coalition should not worry about upsetting people. Most sensible people are resigned to the fact that the deficit needs to be removed as quickly and efficiently as possible. If anything is going to upset the taxation applecart it will be the media. They can't help trying to drive a wedge between the Tories and LibDems. It's OK for Harriet Harman to snipe away. That's her job as she sees it. But I think it's a bit rich for the BBC to harp on about who is sitting beside whom on the front bench etc, etc.

Given the media frenzy before the budget was even delivered I half thought Ryanair's chief executive Michael O'Leary was going to be chancellor for the day. £1 off this and that but VAT on breathing! As Michael Winner might say, "Calm down, my dears. Calm down".

The Coalition has its fans. I'm one of them. Better a coalition than a washed out Labour administration. If the prime minister is to get any trouble, though, it won't be from the opposition. It will be from some on his own side and from some in the media. I've noticed that Tories who favour the coalition call their LibDem colleagues "honourable friends" and those that don't call them "honourable gentlemen" (or ladies, of course!). It works equally well from the LibDem perspective. An easy way to spot possible troublemakers.

The media seem to be uncertain about coalition politics. It's taking their mindsets some time to adjust. They also have a difficulty with the opposition. Harriet Harman is sometimes described as the Leader of the Opposition and sometimes as the Acting Leader of the Labour Party. It all depends on what point is trying to be made.

Anyway, austerity times apart, I think it may well work out rather well.

England kicks a ball about a bit!

I didn't watch the match last night, so I'm in no position to comment. Football has gripped many in such a way they've got a mental vice on their brains. A chap said to me last night, "What, not watching the football!?!" as he saw me out and about with the kids. "I got off early from work!" he explained, engaging me momentarily in the culture. And with a few more seconds of pleasantries he was gone, making his way to a big screen somewhere. A complete stranger, but he was a charming advocate for the game.

England will never really shine at this World Cup lark. They've spent a whole season supposedly flogging their guts out in the Premiership, where failure really does mean something. Loss of cash! No sponsorship deals and the rest. By the time this kind of contest comes around, they are all looking a bit jaded. The fans did have a point. I heard this morning that most thought the players "lacked passion". Probably that's due in some good part to the fact that this is no longer a game to win but an industry to win in!

David Beckham got the rough edge of a fan's tongue apparently. The fan was as ruffled as those congressmen trying to penetrate Tony Hayward's mind. All steamed up but with no proper attention to the real problem. Beckham has his fans, though. The new show in town is the Becks and Tutu Show. Or maybe the Bish and Becks Show. Anyway, Archbishop Desmond Tutu has a high regard for Beckham. Tutu said "I could hug you." Pity he didn't. Perhaps he feared Er Indoors!

Will England get through? Who knows? It's anyone's guess and certainly a bookmaker's conundrum!

My free swim goes up and down the swanee!

Just as I turn 60 and my wife tells me I could take advantage of a free swim to get a bit fitter, I see I won't be getting it after all. Well, OK, I could, but I can't see the point of filling out the forms only to be told "You've only got a couple of weeks, mate!" as if I'm the moron that hasn't quite grasped the point. I have grasped it, I think. And I'm not complaining. Free swimming is a luxury considering the times we're in, so the government has my support here. I'll pay as I go, or swim with the tide!

A sign of The Times

The Times is no longer available online for free. Murdoch's minions have decided to use the pay-as-you-read method. There is a free period but you still have to "register". Do I want Murdoch knowing my business? I think I'll give him a miss for now, but as they say, never say never. But the thought of helping this anti-British mogul is never appealing. "You British can be such...." and so on!

FIFA go red at sight of orange!

FIFA is the international money-making organisation that promotes association football (allegedly!) and promotes its own business vigorously with a ruthless eye for commercial miscreants and cheeky wannabe competitors. This nonsense about the Dutch beer, which I now see is Bavaria, is a bit OTT. But FIFA has always been OTT. Bavaria Brouwerij traditionally gives away orange clothing to fans. Orange is the colour of the Netherlands. This happened in the last World Cup. Budweiser got in a terrible lager lather then.

Then FIFA tried to get Dutch fans to strip off their clothing to their undergarments all because the Bavaria logo was on their shorts. It's all a bit fascistic. Perhaps the FIFA bosses picked up a few tips from the old Stasi or other such delightful outfits.

Many companies see the World Cup as an opportunity to sell more merchandise. In a free market economy fans as well as non-fans should have choice. FIFA has this notion of "official partners". Well, OK as it stands. But that's no reason to take on the MAFIA's code of business practice and try to throttle the competition.

Dutch delights - relatively speaking!

If anyone had any doubts that the World Cup was not about big business then these young Dutch women will tell you otherwise. They were kicked out of the stadium for allegedly promoting a Dutch beer that was not being officially sponsored at the matches. ITV, who know a thing or two about proper sponsorship, have sacked Robbie Earle for allegedly giving them the tickets to get in.

The BBC know a thing or two about vuvezelas. Apparently they can turn down the sound on TV broadcasts. I'm not opposed to these things but anyone tooting them for 90 minutes must be devoid of any sense of brain sensitivity. It has all the hallmarks of a bad made-for-TV movie. Killer Bees meets Smokey and the Bandit.

And speaking of Dutch girls, Dutch beer and all things Orange, here's our deputy prime minister speaking Dutch. Yes, Nick Clegg is multi-lingual and speaks Dutch like a native. Posh Dutch too, my wife tells me!



and here too, but he's thinking a bit more, as he's been caught off guard (speaking Dutch, that is) -