Octopus was right! Spain wins World Cup

My daughter came into the room. "I think that octopus got it right", she said, as she heard my wife grumbling about the Dutch misses, fouls and general yellow carding. "No, no!" came the retort, and then things livened up. I really thought that the Dutch would score. Not to be, alas. Then my son started on about the parakeet's prediction. "It'll go to penalties", I gamely suggested. "Are the Dutch any good at penalties?" Then before anymore was said, the Spanish were whooping it up. Before we knew it, it was all over. Look of glum despondency on my wife's face. "Well, the Dutch got further than the English", I ventured to say. No good. My daughter, on going to bed, whispered, "I knew the octopus was right!". Oh, dear.

Psychic octopus picks Spain

So the octopus has come up with a winner has he? I somehow think he may wrong. OK I'm supporting Holland but the octopus seems to pick the mussel from the same tank. I think he's got some kind of tentacle problem. Anyway, I bet he can't predict computer failure. I've been rather frustrated of late with a dodgy computer. All seems perfectly OK for now. Sometimes I get the impression computers have a mind of their own. A one-track mind!

Dutch Delights - Football Style!

Now that England are out of the World Cup our house has moved on to supporting the Netherlands, or Holland, as the football pundits are concerned. Actually, I think we accepted that an Anglo-Dutch household is sometimes more Dutch than English and the lacklustre performance of England slightly tipped the balance. And those Dutch fans know a thing or two about supporting a team.

Well done the Netherlanders! I'm going back now to fixing the gremlins in my computer. I've a veritable mound of advice to wade through. Everyone's a tipster on the net!

England kicks a ball about a bit!

I didn't watch the match last night, so I'm in no position to comment. Football has gripped many in such a way they've got a mental vice on their brains. A chap said to me last night, "What, not watching the football!?!" as he saw me out and about with the kids. "I got off early from work!" he explained, engaging me momentarily in the culture. And with a few more seconds of pleasantries he was gone, making his way to a big screen somewhere. A complete stranger, but he was a charming advocate for the game.

England will never really shine at this World Cup lark. They've spent a whole season supposedly flogging their guts out in the Premiership, where failure really does mean something. Loss of cash! No sponsorship deals and the rest. By the time this kind of contest comes around, they are all looking a bit jaded. The fans did have a point. I heard this morning that most thought the players "lacked passion". Probably that's due in some good part to the fact that this is no longer a game to win but an industry to win in!

David Beckham got the rough edge of a fan's tongue apparently. The fan was as ruffled as those congressmen trying to penetrate Tony Hayward's mind. All steamed up but with no proper attention to the real problem. Beckham has his fans, though. The new show in town is the Becks and Tutu Show. Or maybe the Bish and Becks Show. Anyway, Archbishop Desmond Tutu has a high regard for Beckham. Tutu said "I could hug you." Pity he didn't. Perhaps he feared Er Indoors!

Will England get through? Who knows? It's anyone's guess and certainly a bookmaker's conundrum!

FIFA go red at sight of orange!

FIFA is the international money-making organisation that promotes association football (allegedly!) and promotes its own business vigorously with a ruthless eye for commercial miscreants and cheeky wannabe competitors. This nonsense about the Dutch beer, which I now see is Bavaria, is a bit OTT. But FIFA has always been OTT. Bavaria Brouwerij traditionally gives away orange clothing to fans. Orange is the colour of the Netherlands. This happened in the last World Cup. Budweiser got in a terrible lager lather then.

Then FIFA tried to get Dutch fans to strip off their clothing to their undergarments all because the Bavaria logo was on their shorts. It's all a bit fascistic. Perhaps the FIFA bosses picked up a few tips from the old Stasi or other such delightful outfits.

Many companies see the World Cup as an opportunity to sell more merchandise. In a free market economy fans as well as non-fans should have choice. FIFA has this notion of "official partners". Well, OK as it stands. But that's no reason to take on the MAFIA's code of business practice and try to throttle the competition.

Dutch delights - relatively speaking!

If anyone had any doubts that the World Cup was not about big business then these young Dutch women will tell you otherwise. They were kicked out of the stadium for allegedly promoting a Dutch beer that was not being officially sponsored at the matches. ITV, who know a thing or two about proper sponsorship, have sacked Robbie Earle for allegedly giving them the tickets to get in.

The BBC know a thing or two about vuvezelas. Apparently they can turn down the sound on TV broadcasts. I'm not opposed to these things but anyone tooting them for 90 minutes must be devoid of any sense of brain sensitivity. It has all the hallmarks of a bad made-for-TV movie. Killer Bees meets Smokey and the Bandit.

And speaking of Dutch girls, Dutch beer and all things Orange, here's our deputy prime minister speaking Dutch. Yes, Nick Clegg is multi-lingual and speaks Dutch like a native. Posh Dutch too, my wife tells me!



and here too, but he's thinking a bit more, as he's been caught off guard (speaking Dutch, that is) -