Quango-itis! A frightful disease

I've come to expect quango chiefs to behave like headless chickens when the chicken shit hits the fans. From hospital executives to the less well-known sinecures of government, these wallahs only take the credit for the good stuff and run a mile when things get sticky.

The DVLC is a prime example. Thousands of blank DVLA log books have been stolen. The police have been informed. Now it is expected that law-abiding car owners may be targets for criminal scams. However, instead of trying to uncover the appalling lack of duty, the DVLA chief executive Noel Shanahan suggests its everyone else's concern but his.

"When we discovered that these documents had been stolen, we actually went to the police because it is a criminal act. If it's a criminal act then clearly we can't be held responsible for that. Most importantly our website, at that time and now, has current information on it, on how to avoid being duped into buying a stolen vehicle."

Not exactly words of comfort. Mr.Shanahan says, "clearly we can't be held responsible" and this is the general mantra of these jobsworths. Well, he may not be totally responsible, but he must be the only man in the country who thinks he has no responsibility at all.

A shake-up is much needed in this country!

Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

Tesco have a store in St. Mellons, Cardiff and the manager has spotted some inappropriately dressed customers in there. A sign has gone up saying, "Footwear must be worn at all times and no nightwear is permitted." Nightwear? I thought to myself who would go in there in nightwear? Apparently some do. Elaine Carmody is a Tesco customer and she says, "I think it's stupid really not being allowed in the supermarket with pyjamas on. It's not as if they're going to fall down or anything like that." Well, if I went in there Elaine mine might just do that. The elastic is a bit dodgy.

Anyway, why all the fuss. Tesco have a right to say who or what comes into a store of theirs. I'd like them to go a stage further and stop skimpily clad young women walking about. Some have the most ill-fitting garments on and it's very off-putting getting a glimpse of large breasts as you peruse the merchandise.

St. Mellons, eh?

Jack Straw and his illegal war

So now we get nearer to the truth. That Jack Straw took legal advice in a rather cavalier way. In fact, he was too cavalier. Accusing people of being "dogmatic" and saying that "international law was pretty vague". Actually, it's not, but New Labour has never been a great follower of legal niceties.

I'd say it sums up this weasel wordsmith to a tee. Jack Straw has never been a man of principal, rather a man keen to bend with the wind. Trouble for him is that he won't be able to bend with the hurricane I hope is going to come and blow the New Labour flotsam and jetsam away.

UK economy emerges from recession

We're out of recession, quip the economists. They were touting this last night. Actually, figures showed the economy had grown by a weaker-than-expected 0.1% in the last three months of 2009. Miniscule, I'd say, but at least it's going in the right direction.

Such a plus figure of tiny proportions needs working on. I have in mind Casanova knocking on the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street's door and asking if she wants to come out for a good time. She's only opened it a millimetre - giving him enough space to squint at her finery.

It's going to be hard work keeping up the strength to get the public finances in order. Oh, well!

Tolerance and intolerance

The BBC got quite agitated this morning over the report that the UK has turned all liberal and tolerant. Actually, I don't think we have. I think we have become more selfish and self-centred and sexuality is just a part of it all. Greed and not caring about others is hardly an outward sign of an inwardly spiritual nation. No, I think that tolerance is not the right word. It's more don't bother me and I won't bother you.

Now if you want a real dose of intolerance this is a prize example. A 16-year-old girl, who was raped in Bangladesh, has been given 101 lashes for conceiving during the assault. She was left to the mercy of mendacious village elders, high on a mixture of second-guessing Allah and keeping to tribal beliefs. The poor girl was horribly abused by a cabal of bearded wonders.

I highlight this because it is allowed to carry on. Bangladesh is seeking to enter the world now as a reformed and reconstructed nation. This kind of do-it-yourself Islam is very distressing. We hear all the time of moderate Muslims not agreeing to all this. Perhaps this girl's wretched experience might shock them into doing something at last.

Blair's lucrative deal with hedge fund that bet on bank failures

I've just spotted this from the Daily Mail. What a character Blair is turning out to be. Hope they are dusting off those lie detector machines. I suggest the Iraq inquiry gets at least a dozen buzzing away whilst he "Yeah, but, no's" his way through his testimony.

Blair will be paid hundreds of thousands of pounds by Lansdowne Partners, one of London's biggest, yet lowest-profile funds, to give them a speech. What on earth do they expect him to say that will make them sit up and think "Wow, that's a whole new take on the world's problems"?

Through a hedge backwards fund is more like it. It's getting more crazy by the day.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1245967/Blairs-lucrative-deal-hedge-fund-bet-bank-failures.html#ixzz0dff4Q03E

Better banking or what?

Most people want to live in a secure and settled country. Indecision and a financial threat to livelihoods is not welcomed. So it must be, in a democratic society, that those who control the purse strings don't get to toy with the people as if they are only there to slave away for the benefit of watching those purse strings tighten or slacken at whim.

Goldman Sachs have decided to limit bonuses of top executives to £1M this year. Very gracious of them. However, such magnanimity is dwarfed by the taxpayers' compulsory attendance at bailout time. It seems there is still no proper incentive by government to tackle this ongoing problem.

I would dread to think that we exist only to act as financial sponges for what would appear to be a support system for financial spongers. Can Goldman Sachs tell us exactly what good they currently are doing for society? I know that they are doing excellent work for themselves. But do they provide a worthwhile service to us all?

I don't think they do. How can it possibly be a good deal if banks can carry on as they please, only to grab us all by the nuts when they get it a bit wrong? We are the suckers, surely? It's rather like having a bad apple in the family, a type of Terry-Thomas character, who turns up on regular occasions with such lines as "I say, old boy, spot of bother on the finance front. Met this woman, you know. Terribly into...." and you feel obliged and the rest.

Well, I hope, come the general election (May 5th apparently) we voice our opinions by voting in strong representation that can confront all the "old boy" routines and put a stop to this Las Vegas culture in the banking industry.

Obama banks on better banking

European banking shares have dropped after President Obama announced far-reaching plans to curb the activities of the biggest banks in the US. Some of these activities are akin to a Las Vegas gambler. He's not proposing restrictions other than on those deemed risky. Bank chiefs have appeared goggle-eyed recently at the prospect of their casino days ending. They threaten all manner of stuff like "leaving the country".

Obama's plans could lead to a worldwide reigning in of these profligate merchants who use the citizen consumer as fodder for their fun. Proper banking is to be welcomed. No modern society can exist without banks and it would be stupid to suggest otherwise. However, what we have here is not an issue about banking as such, but about a certain industry's right to have it all their own way every day of the year.

If a bank goes pear-shaped, then the bosses expect to be bailed out. If they make huge profits then they whine if questions are asked. I'm all in favour of the labourer being worthy of his hire, but I draw a line in the sand when it comes to scam artists considering they are worthy also.

But the biggest question of all is who calls the shots in a democratic society. Is it the elected representatives or a selected cabal of bankers? It's getting very close to High Noon!

Twenty things to know about Scott Brown

The Times has a helpful list of twenty things you might not have known about Scott Brown!

Raunchy republican romps home in Massachusetts

Scott Brown has managed to win the Senate seat vacated by Ted Kennedy. This is a triumph and I think it is a good thing in general. Normally I would tend to support the Republican Party over the Democrats. I'm of a conservative nature, so that would be a natural conclusion. However, the Republican Party does have a flaky side currently. I don't know much about Mr.Brown, but he obviously has that charismatic appeal much loved by Massachusetts voters. Ted Kennedy knew how to use that to get him out of the many scrapes he got into.

Newly-elected senator Brown is no stranger to poverty though. In that he is very different from Ted and his life. Kennedy had a good start and spent his political life championing the causes of the underprivileged. Scott Brown seems to be operating in reverse mode. On Wikipedia it says "Brown has said that he "didn't grow up with all the advantages in life" and that his working mother needed welfare benefits for a short period of time." So I would have thought that would give him some sense of priorities over healthcare.

This win is seen as a snub to Obama's healthcare plans. Maybe. But reality will kick in anytime soon and Americans will wonder what hit them. This country, the USA, is no longer a pioneer state made up of aspirant agricultural West Country workers and third sons of the English gentry. In fact the WASP ascendency looks like it buzzed off years ago. The modern United States is the melting pot come to the boil. Every class, creed and colour wants a slice of the action. America is built on being a giant financial bubble in dire need of regular puffs of hot air. Senator Brown looks to me to be just the man to give it some extra puffs. He once posed almost naked in his youth for a magazine, no doubt titillating youthful Sarah Palin types. However, rhetoric and rich talk like his seem to miss the point. And that is that the USA has a huge amount of underinsured and non-insured people with regard to health care. It's a time bomb ticking. Obama is trying to sort it out. Now his original plans may have been too much, but to do nothing is just plain daft.

Corporate America laughs in the face of democracy. They are just chasing the funny money dollars in order to sustain their avarice. Most small businesses only have access to real money. Average Americans don't get to turn bad loans into quality investments.

The Republican Party should try to get away from fantasyland politics and live in the real world. Interesting that the US government has so much available for Haiti (and rightly so) but some do not even want to discuss it for their own people. The day of reckoning will come when the bubble bursts and burst it will. The national debt of the United States is different from other countries. Not only has it been created by funny money, but by the dollar's position as a reserve currency. Cut the latter out and, well, it hardly bears thinking about.

I'd say it was a conservative thing to secure the future of your country and to give a level of personal security to the least of the citizenry. Not handouts, but a basis for self-achievement and prosperity. Just like Scott's mom!

Humpty Dumpty sat on the Chilcot wall!

Sir John Chilcot must be wondering what sort of a human spectacle he has unleashed on society. A series of dodgy characters, all using words to mean what they want them to mean, have sat opposite him with all the characteristics of loquacious weasels.

I now realise why Saddam tortured his prisoners. He couldn't be doing with such nonsense. Next week we will have Well, Yeah, But, Blair giving his testimony. I suggest a large confessional box is wheeled in also - just for Truth's sake!

Cadbury melts in the warming winter weather

So the board of Cadbury has accepted the Kraft offer. So much for hostilities. It seems that money is king in all corporate matters. I'm not sure I can believe the spokeswoman from Kraft when she simpers on about tradition and cultural icons. I'm fairly certain that the glass and a half of milk Cadbury pours into each chocolate bar won't be coming from any British cow. In fact, these confectionery products can be made anywhere and that is exactly what Kraft will do. If it suits them to make Cadbury chocolates in China, then that's what will happen.

We've already seen HP Sauce pop its clogs on and move from Birmingham. Will Cadbury be wearing a cowboy hat? In the scheme of things it may not matter much. There are a far more important and pressing matters, such as dealing with the earthquake disaster in Haiti.

However, I do think that much of the corporate world has sold its soul, if not to the Devil, to the wanton worship of Mammon. George Cadbury was a Quaker who sought to do much for the workforce of his and other companies in the Birmingham area. I have a good idea that he may well be quaking in his grave today. Pity he's not around to face the lady from Kraft. He might have been able to "rewire her strategy"!

UKIP and a burka ban

UKIP are peddling the idea of a ban on Muslim women wearing the burka. Nigel Farage is of the opinion that it is an affront to women and is un-British. I think he's wrong on both counts. I've never thought the women who wear these head-to-toe cloaks are in any way subjected to being second class citizens. Most seem to wear the garment with pride. My only suggestion is to make the eye-slit a bit bigger as some of the larger ladies get that peripheral vision problem.

As for being un-British, when was it ever "British" to suggest the correct clothing for a person to wear? Nigel Farage wears some fancy gear I've noticed, but that's his business.

However, he does have a point over the security issue. Unlike the Saudi system, where burka-clad women get photographed for driving licences (and in New Jersey!), Britain should insist on a full-face picture. Anything else is to make a ridiculous situation at airports even more ludicrous.

Businessman sues BA 'for treating men like perverts'

A businessman is suing British Airways over a policy that bans male passengers from sitting next to children they don't know - even if the child's parents are on the same flight. This is another aspect of corporate business life, where normal people are subjected to the fears and fanciful thoughts of executives scared witless by lawsuits. It has nothing to do with decency, remember!

Mirko Fischer has accused the airline of branding all men as potential sex offenders and says innocent travellers are being publicly humiliated. The fact is they are branding them exactly as that. Take no chances. All men are possible perverts, so tell them so.

We live in distressing times. Generally people seem to have become utterly devoid of protesting in any manner other that muttering sentiments of disquiet whilst in the local pub or whilst watching the TV News. And the corporate nonsense carries on unabated. Mr Fischer does us all a service and he should be applauded.

I was once publicly vilified by a flight attendant (not British Airways). My son, then a toddler, had just wet his nappy as we were told to buckle up. I could not get him to sit on my lap. Whereupon this young man literally shouted at me suggesting I may be the cause of the imminent flight disaster he was predicting. It soon became an ugly scene, with other passengers joining in. Completely unnecessary but I'm sure that particular flight attendant was more concerned with rules than reality. Safety is one thing. Stupidity is quite another!

JP Morgan Chase - Thin Air Specialists

Wall Street bank JP Morgan Chase has reported profits of $3.3bn (£2bn) for the last three months of 2009. Considering they got a hand-out from the American taxpayer, this seems like they are living in a land where "bust" is not in their vocabulary for themselves but it is for the poor American entrepreneur.

Banks can make money out of thin air - literally. It's called fractional reserve banking, whereby some invester places $10,000 in at the front desk only for a whizzkid to lend it out on the basis of it being $100,000. It's not exactly banking. It's more like Monopoly meets cyberspace. Only those crunching the numbers (or the angel dust) at the money shops know what's going on. The American government thinks it is dealing with businessmen when it invites the four squaddies from the banks to testify. They are nothing of the sort. It's about time we reigned these characters in.

The real question for us all is who exactly is in charge. Is it those guys on Wall Street or is it the President of the United States and Congress? Because if it's "those guys" we've been trussed up like a chicken, allowing them to feed off our bones!

Hailing a taxi and a criminal

In the West Midlands, and no doubt the rest of the UK, if you hail a taxi you may also get a convicted criminal as your driver. Now it could be that convicted criminals make exceptionally good drivers but I would not think that that was the first thought on the minds of the box tickers that dream up all this vetting and checking.

The BBC programme Inside Out West Midlands has revealed that criminals with convictions for offences such as indecent assault and drug dealing are knowingly being licensed to operate as taxi drivers. Knowingly! That's the whole shameful way we are run today, by self-serving bureaucrats who genuflect daily to an altar composed of political (in)correctness, red tape and a desire to run away from responsibility.

This is just a good example of such nonsense. A spokesman for Wolverhampton City Council said the licensing of private hire and hackney carriages was taken seriously. "The council has received no complaints regarding this driver since the private licence was granted in 2006," he said. So no complaints mean it's OK to grant a license to someone who may be tempted to do something indecent or worse.

I always knew the vetting business was a sham. It's got nothing to do with decency but EVERYTHING to do with bureaucrats not being sued by some lunatic under some law of lunacy. Not only have the lunatics taken over the asylum, they are indistinguishable from the lunatics who ran it in the first place.

A taxi driver should be viewed by the public as being someone in an honourable position. Sounds high fullutin', I know, but having been involved in the taxi business at one time I can see how the public come to expect low service if they think all taxi drivers are ex-cons. Now I am not against someone with a criminal conviction obtaining work. However, a sense of proportion needs to be adopted. Wolverhampton Council have obviously lost the plot, with proportion being a word they cannot comprehend.

Taxi driving is a vital service in a modern economy. It is a business creating thousands of jobs and serving people day and night. Customers need to know that their driver is properly licenced and that all insurances are paid. Taxi drivers need to know that we respect their business and their services.

When it comes to a general election I hope we can vote in people who will get rid of all these wretched box tickers and collectivist backsliders. Otherwise we will just carry on with this parlous existence of having the politically incorrect muck up our lives.

Snow surprise then?

We need a big umbrella over Britain it seems. We can't cope with snow, we can't cope with rain, and we don't appear to be able to cope with hot days. In fact, whilst there is a minimum temperature for working conditions, there is no such equivalent for high temperatures.

David Cameron is now beaming down from posters proclaiming that he'll get us out of the mess we're in. Perhaps the best policy he could construct would be one containing lots of joined up thinking. Britain suffers from short-termism. Just getting by is no longer any good. We need to learn from our mistakes and try our very best to get it right. So let's have some policies that actually mean something and let's have them without spin.

It was refreshing to hear President Obama tell the intelligence community they had failed to "connect the dots", adding "That's not acceptable, and I will not tolerate it." I hope the British voters will not tolerate any politician who is incapable of connecting dots.

Snow in Solihull

I see the council is predicting "snow disruption" as if this is a given. Another thing is that the chief executive is saying that school closures are up to the head teachers and the head teachers are saying it's up to the council. That's what I call responsibility (as we've come to expect it this country!). A decision will be made at 21.30. Don't hold your breath! I'm quite prepared for them to shut up shop and let the kids have a day off.

What if it freezes over until March? Have they thought of that?

UPDATE!!!

All schools will be closed in Solihull tomorrow, so no lessons learnt from last year then. I walked to Sainsbury's tonight and witnessed the traffic moving slowly. No gritting but perhaps it will happen overnight. Now we know that teachers can't drive in the snow. My suspicious mind tells me it has rather less to do with snowflakes but everything to do with ticking the boxes and keeping the rules in place. I also think, having witnessed the children getting extremely excited in the playground that a certain level of juvenile excitement is OK but too much is far too much.

I think they ran the white flag up the pole - couldn't see it - and decided it was all getting beyond their ken!

Snowed in and snowed out

Britain is in the grip of a snowstorm. Grip is a word much favoured by the media. It helps to send a feeling of helplessness over the poor British pysche. Rather like Private Fraser in Dad's Army "We're all doomed I tell you!", the council executives up and down the land are preparing for a period of battening down the hatches rather than attempting to deal with the situation.

On the Today Programme it was trumpeted as being the "worst weather in 100 years", "nothing like it before" and such nonsense. I wonder where they were in the sixties or late forties. Of course all this paranoia is just so they can excuse the fact that they don't have the necessary preparations in hand. Chief executives are paid a king's ransom but deliver paupers' promises when it comes to wintry weather conditions.

I'm quite prepared to walk to school tomorrow with my children only to find the schools closed because the teachers got stuck somewhere or they were told to stay home in the warm. What a world! David Cameron says that if elected he will get us out of this mess. Well, first off he could get rid of all the backsliders and excuse merchants and get a load of people in who do know what to do when it snows!

Blair seen as a liability

When was it ever different, I said to myself on seeing this piece in The Times. Apparently senior Labour figures have voiced concerns that Tony Blair’s appearance at the Iraq inquiry in the coming weeks will wreck any prospect of him helping the party at the general election. Helping them out? They'd be far better advised giving him a wide berth. The man is generally seen as being trouble on two legs. Blair's entourage are none too pleased with their hero being asked to explain his fibs and foibles. There is growing criticism being voiced within the former Prime Minister’s inner circle about Gordon Brown’s decision to hold the inquiry with public hearings in the run-up to the election. It was nicely put by a stooge as “The whole f***ing thing is Downing Street’s fault.” And these people used to run the country?

These Blairite types want him to "nuance" his testimony at the inquiry. What's new. He's nuanced everything since he knocked on his housemaster's door seeking attention. He nuanced his politics, he nuanced his religion, and he's currently nuancing his lucrative business career. He nuanced the Labour Party and no doubt nuanced all the mirrors in his house "Well, yeah, mirror, mirror on the wall, who is, yeah, the greatest nuancer of all?" "Oh, you are, Great Nuancer!"

Gordon Brown has had his Granita days. Tony Blair is not much use to the election or the future. New Labour dies a death in May!

Christmas Shopping Tales

The run up to Christmas was rather different this year. For once we got some snow, at least in Solihull we did. Then there was the rather depressed feel about it all. Everyone seemed to be on the look out for bargains. I overheard a young woman say to her partner, "I don't find it very Christmassy, what with all the sales on!" I thought for a second, looked around and the very first shop I spotted declared that they offered "0% Finance" with the poster virtually covering the window. Then I saw it's next door neighbour with a vast SALE poster in brilliant red letters. That was one of many "overheards" that day.

Christmas shopping has always been relatively stressful. Not because it's unpleasant to do or anything, just that "the world and his wife" are out, as my father often used to say. What sort of world and and what sort of wife I cannot really say, except that one particular person caused an outrage in the pound shop. Breaking wind whilst trying to grab a bargain is not on my list. Someone had dealt a low one indeed. It hung around the back of the shop. Customers were eager to give a look as if to say "that's not mine, you know!". I felt a dash for the door was called for but thought a measured exit more preferable. With all the shelves having been ransacked, merchandise was on the floor. I had visions of the paramedics bending over me. "Broke 'is neck rushin' out of the shop, apparently". "I was trying to avoid the fart!", I opine gently. With my daydreams intact, I wandered off into Mel Square.

The German Market was on. Looked very festive and it was indeed a very joyful sight. There was a beer garden and lots of little stalls decked out like German alpine cabins. Trouble was, I thought at least, there were no Germans there. You can't have a German market without Germans. Brummies don't quite make up for that much of a difference. I had visions of Basil Fawlty. "Don't mention Aston Villa. I did, but I think I got away with it!"

As usual each shop visit was greeted with an enterprisingly eager young assistant. "Need any help, mate?" Mate is now officially in every retailer's training programme. "Now, Colin - when a customer enters the store what do we say?" "Need any help, mate?". "Splendid!" I ventured into one store and got two young men saying almost the same thing followed a few minutes later by a young woman using the "mate" terminology. Does anybody today stand their ground like my uncle used to do. I imagine he'd be arrested today for gross political incorrectness.

The Wednesday evening, 23rd December, found me in Tesco. It was 9.30 at night but it could have been anytime during the day. It was packed solid. People had picked the largest shopping trollies possible to push around and into each other. I only went in for a few things. I must get the hang of this better next year. As I pondered the selection in the confectionery displays I heard a male voice speaking loudly. "She said I had a big nose?", he enquired in a rather tetchy manner. It was another mobile phone user on autopilot. "She's no right to say that. She's just stirring it". I tried turning round, my curiosity needed assuaging. But there was a trolley pinning me to the shelving. By the time I did turn round he was gone. Big nose or not, I will never know. I eventually got out of Tesco, having queued up for the self-service scanner (warning those in front of queue-jumpers).

Christmas was good for us this year and still is. After all there are twelve days of Christmas, although in this secular age it's more important to bother about the 120 days before Christmas. I hope the New Year brings us all some prosperity and happiness. My goodness, the world needs more of that!