'gay marriages' - minor tremors or major Quakers?

The Society of Friends, better known as the Quakers, are all geared up to "allow gay marriages" if the vote goes accordingly at their annual gathering in York on Friday. They will also formally ask the government to change the law to allow gay people to marry.

They may ask, but I doubt it will get very far. Not because of the government. They are quite keen to advance secular society's norms within the church establishment. No, it will be because they just won't have the parliamentary time to do it (unless they tack it on to some convenient bill, of course). The Church of England need not be too concerned.

I don't wish to be difficult, but I would have thought the Quakers would be better off leaving things as they are. They may take a view on same-sex relationships. That is perfectly OK. But they do not represent the traditional Church teaching as upheld by the main denominations. It would appear that some Friends are of the view that their minor tremor could turn into a major quake. I think it would not.

Supreme foolishness!

The New Labour disease is a vile thing, often manifesting itself in manipulation. That is in this organisation's case an uncontrollable spasm in the hands causing the outfit to mend things which were not broken. In fact, they chip bits off, then imply it needs mending. It is a terrible disease, the only cure being a GENERAL ELELECTION!! If only.....

Archbishop Cranmer has a wonderful post about this new Supreme Court thing. Please read it, it says it all.

Just as a rider, this on the "Judiciary Communications Office" website, rambling on about why their Lordships have been booted out of the House of Lords (as judges that is) -

"As members of the House of Lords, this means that they not only sit judicially, but are also able to become involved in the debate and subsequent enactment of Government legislation (although, in practice, they rarely do so). Creating a new Supreme Court will mean that the most senior judges will be entirely separate from the Parliamentary process."

If they rarely got involved and the whole system worked for 1,000 years, what mindset thought better? Oh, the manipulatively diseased mind of New Labour, of course!

Brussels sprouts up to threaten to close banks down!

So the British government isn't really in charge. I knew that and most voters knew it last month. The eurocrats are in charge. Gordon Brown is the pudding stirrer but it is these wonders from the Wallonian wilderness who get to choose the ingredients. Sometimes it's all nice stuff, very tasty and tempting but likely to lead to overbloating. Sometimes, it's just a stick with no carrots!

They've allowed us to rescue the banks. Well, a lifeline more. If it isn't sorted in five years the lifeline gets cut. Philip Lowe, director general of the Commission's competition department, said that his officials were now looking at the long-term viability of Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds Banking Group and their ability to be weaned off state aid within five years. If they are unable to survive on their own, they will be closed down, as with other industrial sectors such as shipbuilding. "We will do that with the banking sector. We would impose a winding down if the viability of the bank isn't assured," said Mr Lowe.

So there you have it. De facto and de *****! Perhaps if Mr.Lowe is so keen to wind them down if they don't perform, he could start with the bonuses, which are still being squeezed out of the coffers like a wet blanket in the hands of a blancheseuse.

Ex-postman comes knocking on doors

This man is getting all excited about his new ID card. He's trying it on in Manchester. But why I cannot think. This time next year it will all be history.

Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling said the government had signed contracts worth £1bn before last month's u-turn. "Alan Johnson today launches a wing-and-a-prayer scheme based on the hope that people across the North West will sign up for a glossy ID card, and send a message to their counterparts in other parts of the country that the ID card is the hottest property since Susan Boyle," said Mr Grayling. "The government has already wasted £200m that we cannot afford. The scheme will cost hundreds of million pounds more, even if the cards are voluntary. It is time this scheme was completely scrapped."

What is it with Gordon Brown's government and money? A fool and his money are soon parted, goes the saying. Well, a collection of fools and our money are definitely washed down the pan!

William Shatner reads Sarah Palin's tweets!

How tweet! William Shatner reading in poetic fashion the tweets of Sarah Palin.

Michael Jackson children custody announcement

Michael Jackson certainly left a legacy. One of two halves. The first is his music, where his records still have the capacity to succeed at the highest level. The other half is his life, now lived out seemingly in perpetuity by a variety of gainsayers, truthmixers and dodgy dealers.

According to Associated Press, the attorney for Michael Jackson's mother says an announcement is imminent on a custody deal regarding the pop icon's two oldest children, but stopped short of saying an agreement had been reached. This wrangling will go on for a very long time unless some immediate action is taken. To bring it to a halt, a DNA testing would help considerably. There are several people jostling for custody of these children. One of which is Jackson's mother. But Ms Rowe, the biological mother has suggested that Jackson isn't the biological father, and that she wants custody.

All the while the children are kept in a neverland of nonsense and the lawyers get rich by deluding themselves and trying to avoid the truth. Some lawyers they are!

LATEST from CBS NEWS

Obama was right, was he?

President Obama expressed concern over the arrest of a Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, who is black, and had been handled in an apparently rough way by white police officers. The police department reacted angrily saying they were not racist and Obama backed down, saying he had used the wrong words, blah, blah.

Now we find there is at least one bad apple in the police department, or at least in neighbouring Boston. A certain Officer Justin Barrett referred to the black scholar as a " jungle monkey" in a letter, written in reaction to media coverage of Gates's arrest July 16. The 36-year-old policeman, who has been on the job for two years, was stripped of his gun and badge on Tuesday and faces a termination hearing in the next week, said police spokeswoman Elaine Driscoll. He has no previous disciplinary record, she said.

So when people were keen to rush to judgement about the President's remarks, he wasn't that far from the truth. Okay, only one errant officer, but people are very keen to put their own judgements onto others. Speak for yourself, was once a retort. This officer spoke for himself and conjured up the thoughts of monkeys and jungles.

I would not think that either the Cambridge or Boston police departments are riddled in prejudice, but there are probably some underlying beliefs that pop out like molten lava from a supposedly dormant volcano. Boston has history. It is not always easy to keep that history hidden from present day activities.

Asda in ID card row

In the 21st century we have become a nation of people who suspect the motives of others, more or less without thinking. A lot of this, I feel, is to be placed in the hands of New Labour, with their obsession with vetting and prying. Fifty years ago when I walked to the shops with my mother we would see a few people. Mostly our time was spent talking to the shopkeepers and saying hello to fellow customers. Shopkeepers were elert in those days to kids taking things, maybe the odd adult too. However, it appeared everyone looked out for each other. If someone did anything anti-social, it was pointed out - verbally - that it was not appreciated.

Today things have changed. When I go to the shops with my children I am aware of being "followed" by cameras. I am aware that I am spoken to as a potential credit card fraudster if the card machine fails to work properly. It's never the store's problem. I once told the assistant that bar codes were not infallible due to slapdash computer entries (by humans!). She looked bewildered. We live in a country where we have become a commodity. We are just there to boost the turnover of big business. Customer service sometimes falls to the level of "Computer says no!" and we are given a blank look. I'm sure this is because we Brits do not have the stomach to organise ourselves. We have become too individualistic and have allowed "the system" to take control. If we had some organisational flair, we could have proper consumer advocacy, we could have proper shareholder involvement, and we could have proper accountability at elections.

However, we have through our own malaise (look at the majority stay-at-home voters in Norwich North) allowed government and the corporate world to move us about like a tray of biscuits. So it is no surprise that a man walks into his local Asda and is prevented from buying a bottle of wine because he was with his 15-year-old daughter. He was told he could not be served the alcohol unless she had ID to prove her age. Asda claimed they were "erring on the side of caution in line with national guidelines". What this proves is that the system comes first. There is an underlying nonsense to all this.

First, Mark Brown, the man in question, has had his personal integrity impugned by Asda. Through these "national guidelines" it has been insinuated that he was buying the wine to give to his daughter to consume. Or possibly for her to give to her friends. Mr.Brown protested that the wine for for him. He did well to stand up for himself.

Then there is the demand that Miss Brown should be walking around with ID to prove her age on request by a store. She was not buying alcohol. Even without ID, Asda would have been within their rights to refuse a sale to her. After all, at her her age she would hardly fit the bill of a wine buyer according to the "national guidelines". But she wasn't attempting to buy alcohol. If she had had ID on her, and it showed she was 15 years old, what then? The inference is that Mr.Brown would have got his wine, because Asda made the stand on selling the wine if the ID was produced. Unless of course that part of this tale is wrong. So ID is demanded even if you do not want to buy something. Surely this is an infringement of personal liberty?

I bought a bottle of sherry with my son by my side. He is seven. I suppose that was OK. However, the assistant told me that age is always asked if the store "thinks" you look under 25. Mostly this never happens. What does happen is that an under-age assistant gets the red light when alcohol goes through bar code system. They then press a button, bells ring, they make eye contact with a supervisor, wave the bottle in the air and the supervisor nods approvingly. This gets round "the system" conveniently. I wonder what age the child has to be in order for an adult to be allowed to buy alcohol whilst accompanying a child?

Richard Dodd, of the British Retail Consortium, rather pompously said of the Asda event, "I think parents should actually be reassured to see retailers being so rigorous in their determination not to sell alcohol to under-18s." Mr.Dodd, get a grip! The young girl was NOT buying alcohol. Her father was. If this sort of customer service is advocated by the British Retail Consortium, then Heaven help us all.

Totnes Tories in "open primary" contest

In what is claimed to be the first open primary in Britain, the voters of Totnes are being given the chance to vote for who may be the Conservative candidate at the next election. Three worthies have put their names forward. What I haven't been able to find out is if these three have been formally chosen by a panel of the Conservative Party. It would be nice to think that any Conservative member could put his or her name forward without being vetted beforehand. Then a prospective candidate could announce their intention of standing and mount a campaign. All three are local Devon people. Totnes voters may want that, but will this primary idea exclude those from neighbouring counties or further afield?

It would also be nice to feel that Totnes is not the only constituency to get this democratic honour. As for primaries in Britain, this is probably the first open one but it is not the first closed one. That honour went to Reigate in 1970 when a primary was held between Chris Chattaway and Geoffrey Howe. Chattaway went thataway and Howe won the day.

Stormy Daniels senate race hots up

When Stormy Daniels, porn star of repute, said she was running for the US Senate many scoffed. They thought it was all a publicity stunt. They admitted that her intended opponent, incumbent David Vitter, was damaged goods but they were sure that the Democrats would find someone to run against him. Daniels, they suggested, was a no-hoper. Her supporters begged to differ and she embarked on a listening tour.

Things are moving up a notch or two. Daniels is still in the race and the name of Democrat Charlie Melancon of Napoleonville is being touted around. Apparently he needs a good bit of touting. From what I can gather, Melancon is someone likely to repeat the same porkbarrel business in the senate. A fight between Vitter as the Republican and Melancon as the Democrat could see Daniels coming up through the middle, in a manner of speaking.

Louisiana is in for some fun and games!

Octomom's $250,000 Brood

Apparently a TV production company from the UK, Eyeworks UK, has signed a deal with Nadya Suleyman, otherwise known as the Octomom. I'm sure that's not an eight-legged female parent. She's reported as getting $250,000 for her troubles by agreeing to appear in a reality show. I'm wondering if that's a good deal. After all, she ballooned up to a pretty good size with eight babies banging about inside her. She has six other children and will have a tv crew running amok in her house and following her around all day. I'd say $250,000 was not a great deal for three years toil.

I wonder what the TV company thinks they will make out of it all?

Harry Patch dies at 111

World War I veteran Harry Patch has died. The last link in the UK to the fighting men of the trenches. At the age of 100 he started a new life as a national hero. We need more heroes and fewer of the schemers, plotters and spinners.

Obama cops out as the cops complain

President Obama has just had to make a grovelling apology for a comment he made about the arrest of a Harvard professor by the keenly motivated police officers of Cambridge, Massachussetts. The professor was a "man of colour" and the police officer was white in the arrest that happened outside the professor's house.

Obama said that the police had “acted stupidly” but he was relying on reports. It now appears that they were just doing their duty. They were very offended by all this. “The president should make an apology to all law-enforcement personnel throughout the entire country,” said one Cambridge policeman. “Cambridge police are not stupid.” Maybe they are not, but I think there are some failings in the US police pysche, and this incident brings them to the fore.

My experience of the USA is that police officers are hyped up to believe that they may not come back alive from a day's patrol. That's the first bit of bad news. Then, when they've got a suspect, they delight in handcuffing the alleged miscreant. Anyone accused of a crime in the USA is certainly going to go through the humiliation hoops well before they get to see a judge and jury.

I've had a few casual encounters with US cops. One was over an out-of-date license plate. I heard the siren, saw the police car and duly stopped. I saw the cop get out of the car. Then he appeared to see my car as some sort of sexual object. He started from the trunk end and slithered slowly towards the driver's door. I had wound the window down. He kept his head from getting too close. "Good morning, officer", I said, in a very non-Southern voice. "What is the problem?" He was momentarily quiet, then told me about the license. As he spoke, he came towards the open window. I chatted about going back to England and that it was not actually my car, whereupon he said, "Don't suppose there's much point in giving you a ticket, then." "No, not much point," I said, leaving him slightly non-plussed. He then smiled broadly and wished me a good journey home.

My thoughts about that, and other meetings with the police (on a porch visit once too) is that they try to do a good job, but that there is a constant current of tension, no doubt from the thought of being attacked. This, I think leads, to groups of people being sterotyped and every arrest having to be carried out as if being carted off to Alcatraz.

With the professor, it seems that a neighbour was rustling the curtains, got all neighbourly and called the cops. It would be interesting to hear a tape of that call. They turn up, the professor is tired after his trip and annoyed at not being able to get into his house. The cops start asking questions off a crib sheet and the professor snaps. They go into autopilot and within less than a minute the professor is handcuffed and removed from the premises.

Now if there had been a slightly less tense standoff then none of this may have happened. Instead, we have the whole racial thing rise up like a phoenix in a jack-in-the-box. America is a racially tense country. For heavens sake, Obama can't even be president without someone commenting on his "blackness". The same to a different degree in the UK and no doubt any country with a mixed population.

I know a bit about being involved in racial issues. I had a black friend in Atlanta and travelling in a car poses problems in certain areas, from black as well as white. It can lead to difficulty. Rather pompously I said that I wasn't going to be told who I could be in a car with. My friend suggested that reality was far better than philosophy in a crisis.

I would hope that the reality is that the police in America could police without fear and that neighbourhoods could have policing without stereotyping (from both sides).

Norwich North by-election findings

The Conservatives did well to win. However, the actual number of Conservative voters only represent some 18% of the constituency. It seems most voters are not that active as Tory supporters. Again the Apathy Party won big time.

I do not wish to denigrate Chloe Smith's win. A win is a win. But it is far from being the "historic" win that David Cameron is talking about. The Conservative Party just has to shape up more. I trust Chloe is no clone or party apparatchik. She must have a mind of her own so she can take the lead for the younger generation. She must speak out when she sees or hears deception, spin and cheating going on. She has to attract a far wider band of supporters than a mere 18%!

There was a large swathe of opinion in Norwich North that thought Dr.Gibson was badly treated. A far dodgier specimen, representing Ashfield, has flipped and flopped and carries on! Surely Gordon Brown realised that ditching a respected member of parliament NEVER goes down well with the electorate. On that one issue alone he has show himself to be incompetent politically. Remember Leyton 1965?

All political parties must assure the electorate that they are there for the country and the people. This election has failed to show that the electorate believes that is happening. The majority in Norwich North think going to vote for anyone is a waste of time.

Having said all that, Chloe Smith did well. So did UKIP who now have their best result ever in a parliamentary election. They can beat the BNP and do it well we now know!

Norwich North Result - Tories cut the mustard!

So the Conservatives have won by a convincing margin on a low poll. The other thing to note is that UKIP are now in the by-election business with a significant result for them. The Greens may have been seen as doing better and there are still 6,243 people of Norwich prepared to be seduced by a Scottish waffler from Fife!

The Result -

Chloe Smith (Con) 13,591 (39.5%)
Chris Ostrowski (Lab) 6,243 (18.16%)
April Pond (LD) 4,803 (13.97%)
Glenn Tingle (UKIP) 4,068 (11.83%)
Rupert Read (Green) 3,350 (9.74%)
Craig Murray (Ind) 953 (2.77%)
Robert West (BNP) 941 (2.74%)
Bill Holden (Ind) 166 (0.48)
Howling Laud (Loony) 144 (0.42%)
Anne Fryatt (NOTA) 59 (0.17%)
Thomas Burridge (Libertarian) 36 (0.1%)
Peter Baggs (Ind) 23 (0.07%)

Captain Pugwash creator Ryan dies

Fifty years ago I sat clued to the TV set watching Captain Pugwash. Just one channel because we hadn't got "commercial" yet! Looking at the YouTube selection it seems to have weathered the ravages of time and is still a good show. Perhaps not PC enough for the BBC, though.

John Ryan was ably supported by the many voices of Peter Hawkins, who did then all! I bet only six people worked on those programmes. Now, there's a lesson to be learnt by the managers of today.

My Lords, Ladies, and David Beckham, Esquire!

There was a time when everyone knew their place. David Frost famously introduced a sketch about social class acted out by John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett. You don't have to be posh to be privileged today. All sorts make it into the House of Lords. I bet the Hurlingham Club is less fussy these days. Debrett's People of Today certainly is. They have devised a remarkable scheme for sifting out who is and who is not an "esquire".

When I was a child, my father regularly got letters with "esq." after his name. Then as a teenager these letters faded away in favour of a more direct style. He was just Mr. and that was that. Now it seems to be back in style. It's a funny old world, as Margaret Thatcher once said. Under New Labour there is a new version of an old world.

Originally the title Esquire was for those considered somewhere between the Knights and the Gentlemen. Based on the word squire, they were people who in medieval times had a "managerial" position with regard to the knights and barons. Where it all ended up in the late 1950's I do not know, but my father was deemed OK for the letter-writers of the day. Then he fell off that esquire list!

One family story that was oft told by my mother was when my grandfather was asked to vet the village cricket team. What for, we were never told. He looked up and down the list and exploded with a sort of outrage verging on apoplexy. He had noticed that all the names were appended with "esquire". He muttered, "What's this? They're only village people!" How times have changed. Not that I'm in favour of my grandfather's views on social delineation continuing into the 21st century, not at all. But it is very peculiar that Debrett's have ressurrected it, albeit in a brand new form.

According to Debrett's Simon Cowell is an esquire as is David Beckham. Liam Gallagher is not. I detect a hint of favouritism here or possibly not wanting to offend those they may wish to please. I remember someone commenting on an advertisement at Victoria Station. "Gentleman required for cleaning public lavatories" the notice said. The comment was, "But that is hardly a suitable occupation for a gentleman!".

The thing is, could it ever be suitable for an esquire? One of the new generation esquires? I tend to doubt it!

UK Border Agency plonkers bordering on the barmy!

You have to hand it to the UK Border Agency. They're a bunch of tender-hearted wonders, aren't they. As with most agencies working for the New Labour Regime, they interpret laws in the same way as Basil Fawlty interpreted menus. Because this government never thinks further than the end of the pen that's writing the stuff they enact into law, things go wrong.

It was a good idea to introduce a law to safeguard young Asian women against forced marriages. But the catchall nature of New Labour thinking includes every young woman, even Canadian ones. So it is that nineteen-year-old Canadian Rochelle Wallis who married her Welsh husband Adam in November 2008, two years after they first met and fell in love, is to be deported. Deported? What for? According to the UK Border Agency she falls under the scope of the Forced Marriages Act, which was passed in 2007.

To add insult to injury these plonkers told Rochelle that her deportation, until she is 21, is a mere "inconvenience". Naturally, she sees it very differently. "It's more than an inconvenience, it's ripping my marriage apart".

What I find so appalling is that we now have these agency staff who are quasi civil servants making decisions that would have pleased the leaders of the former eastern Europe no end. Every day that goes by, some agency or other cocks up big time or makes someone's life hell somewhere.

When are we going to say it has to end?

Joe Biden's not really sure, is he?

Joe Biden's been chatting to the BBC. His take on the war in Afghanistan is that it is in the interests of the US and the UK. "It is worth the effort we are making," he said, warning that the terror groups on the border with Pakistan could "wreak havoc" on Europe and the US. He reiterated the Obama administration's rationale for the conflict. "This is the place from which the attacks of 9/11 and all those attacks in Europe that came from al-Qaeda have flowed from that place - between Afghanistan and Pakistan." So we should be in Pakistan too, then, clearing out the caves and cosy hiding places there? I doubt it.

This is a war without a clear purpose. On Mondays it's about democracy in Kabul. Tuesdays it's about fighting the Taliban. Wednesday it's back to the terrorist agenda of al-Qaeda. Biden says the terror groups who shelter along the Afghan-Pakistan border combine with the country's role in the international drug trade - supplying 90% of the world's heroin - means the war in Afghanistan needs to succeed. So are we trying to suppress and eradicate the drugs trade, fight terrorism or put democracy in place? Or do all three at once?

I would think such incoherent thinking is just fuel to the average Afghan cave-dweller. These guys have been living rough since they started to walk upright. Their only respect for modernity is mobile phones and designer specs. Taking pot shots at the beggars isn't going to change the mindset much.

If it was down to me, I'd hire a fleet of planes to spray the poppy crops, I'd give ten minutes warning that exocet missiles were coming at those caves, I'd put extreme pressure on the Pakistani, Somali and other governments to shape up, and I'd chuck out the bearded wonders wandering the streets of London and other cities as undesirable aliens.

But it isn't down to me!

Leaving On A Jet Plane!

I see that complaints to airlines have gone up 11% in a year. 12,307 people complained. A whole load more just grumbled, swore and stamped on the floor. In a way, I'm with the 12,307. At least they did something about it. The airlines are so busy giving us cheap seats, which is what we demand, that most everything else goes hang. It is a miracle some days that people don't explode more often.

I'm a great fan of Meet the Parents. Greg Focker had his problems flying to meet his future father-in-law. In this quote from the film, Greg is trying to fit his large bag into the overhead bin -

Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that.
Greg Focker: I got it.
Flight Attendant: No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit.
Greg Focker: No, no, I'm not - hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay?
Flight Attendant: There's no need to raise your voice, sir.
Greg Focker: I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay?
Flight Attendant: Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage...
Greg Focker: Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there?
Flight Attendant: No...
Greg Focker: No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION.

Not a suggested conversation dialogue for real life, but one can appreciated the scene. However, some passengers can be really obnoxious and cause a lot of problems for other passengers as well as the airline crew and staff. I have to say, in my time on planes (30-odd flights in as many years) that it is not the staff but the passengers that I would complain about. Several times when "deplaning" some have behaved as if they were the Gadarene Swine. Pushing and shoving par excellence!

Browned off with it all!

Well who do we believe? Malloch Brown or Bollock Brown? Someone's telling porkies, that's for sure! Our esteemed prime minister says, "I am satisfied that operation Panther's Claw has the resources it needs to be successful". Well, if it isn't, we know who to blame!

Lord Foulkes last man to talk about loyalty

Lord Foulkes has always been a scheming plotting Labour Man. Loyal only to Gordon Brown, keen on devolved government except for the English, and generally a man who puts party before country.

Now he has the cheek to suggest that military commanders' comments about resources "threaten to undermine our effort in Afghanistan and give succour to the enemy". He suggested to peers that General Dannatt and Sir Jock Stirrup should be reminded of the "importance of loyalty particularly when we are engaged in a very difficult war where victory is essential for the future safety of this country".

Bollocks, Foulkes! This war is not about safety of this country. If it were, then Pakistan would be picked apart to find the Al Quaeda terrorists along with Somalia and the client states of the Arabian peninsula. We can't even put a stop to the drugs trade which keeps Afghanistan going.

Victory may be essential but it is damned difficult to achieve when vacuous politicians keep the commanders from having the right and proper equipment to do the job properly.

Alistair Darwin evolves into a boss of something!

I remember in the sixties that there were some people who apparently did not know who the prime minister was. They knew Mike Yarwood, but for some reason Harold Wilson's name eluded them. I never really believed that. I've always thought into was a publicity stunt to make opinion pollsters look good.

These people quizzed were adults. It's not generally expected that children should know of everyone in government, let alone Gordon Brown. But I suspect the vast majority do, because of the remarks they hear about him! Should Alistair Darling be known and should he be famous? A group of six pupils, all aged nine, from Cedarwood Primary School at Kesgrave, near Ipswich, were quizzed by the BBC about money matters. This was what they thought about the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Does anybody know who the chancellor is?

E: What's the chancellor?
B: Is he the boss of the banks?
V: He is something to do with money, and the President's friend.
E: Is he...
V: ...or she...
E: ...In charge of all the banks?
Rep: He's called Alistair Darling, have you heard of him?
E: If it was Darwin then I have heard of him - he's a famous scientist.

Edward posed a good question about him being the boss of the banks. No more boss than Top Cat was of his disperate (or desperate?) group of feline felons! Gordon Brown has been as useful as Officer Dibble when it came to ascertaining the facts. Alistair Darwin is much nearer the truth. A mad scientist that let the banks grow out of control with terrible consequences.

Out of the mouths of babes......

David Cameron's spin doctor!

I'm just watching Andy Coulson and Stuart Kuttner giving evidence to the select committee. One might be excused for thinking a couple of double-glazing salesmen were being asked to justify their claims! Coulson keeps saying he doesn't recall this that and the other. Convenient! For the life of me I cannot understand what David Cameron sees in this guy. He looks and sounds dodgy, at least by this glaring example of testimony.

Maybe he's got something we don't know about. But a spin doctor that is the story is hardly an asset. It doesn't give me a feeling of total confidence in the Conservative leadership. Pity!

Henry Paulson being hung out to dry!

Henry Paulson sounds like he's not very comfortable here. George Bush's Secretary to the Treasury is a bankers' train wreck, it seems.

Just a Girl in shorts censored by Google - Au Revoir

I am horrified to see that a blog I have been following has been censored by Google. This should horrify all bloggers. Becky C from Arizona had a very successful blog. She still does! However, some have complained to Google and they have stuck up a an “Objectionable Content” splash page. I have to tell you, there's nothing objectionable about her blog.

What get's me is that this is done without warning. She is tarred and feathered without a hearing. I urge you to go to her blog. Support her. This is just so NOT RIGHT!!!

Just a Girl in short shorts talking about whatever: Au Revoir

Dr Del Boy will see you now

Social mobility? Alan Milburn has been up late at nights recently dotting the I's and crossing the T's on his blessed report. He thinks the professions are keeping out bright boys and girls from working class and middle class backgrounds. It's a toffs paradise in these professional classes apparently.

I find it very hard to be convinced of anything that Milburn says. After all, what kept him back? He's from a working class background. He went to a comprehensive school. He thought Trotsky was the ideal political hero until he met a privileged boy called Tony Blair. You see, not all Blairites are posh. However, Milburn got a taste for the high life and tried to divest his working class background whilst retaining his working class credentials. Instead of moaning, he'd be better off telling the children of today how he did it. And whilst he's at it he might consider that those from his own background may not want to be pushed into the professions. Surely it must be a matter of choice.

All kinds of people move up and down the social ladder. I'm not aware that my doctor is posh. It's arrant nonsense to suggest that the professions are stuffed full of the second sons of the nobility. Talking of nobility, Lord Sugar ain't that posh, neever!

I think the Earl of Onslow hit this social mobility thing on the head in that programme John Prescott did about class. Lord Onslow had Prescott and his wife round for lunch. During the visit, Lord Onslow suggested that Prescott shouldn't have such a chip on his shoulder and should be justly proud of becoming Deputy Prime Minister. In fact, he would welcome him into the House of Lords as a person with a considerable contribution to make. It seemed that Lord Onslow warmed to John Prescott. Even John's wife thought hubby was overdoing it a bit on feeling so grumpy. But Prescott wears class war on his sleeve. It's in his DNA.

The fact that in twelve years of New Labour things have got worse rather than better makes me rather sad. It is not right that a new aristocracy is being formed of conniving, self-serving types at the expense of the gifted and the talented. I take Milburn's report with a vast pinch of salt!

German MEPs in "democracy stitch-up"!

Germans love democracy. Well the people do. As for their elected representatives one could say a few of them are up to the same old tricks as in years gone by. One savoury character in the European Parliament is Christian Democrat MEP Inge Graessle (pictured). She's got the makings of a perfect MEP. All fiddling expenses and fixing the committees. Why do I attack her so? Because she and her gravy train chums blocked Marta Andreason, newly-elected MEP for UKIP from becoming vice-chairman of the European Parliament's budgetary committee.

"They know that I know too much. I know where the bodies are buried and that's why they don't want me," said Mrs Andreasen. She was sacked by Lord Kinnock when he was gravy train supremo. Anyone threatening to derail the Kinnock's income stream is likely to get chucked out of the caboose.

It is utterly deplorable that such people as Inge Graessle are let anywhere near a democratic debating chamber. "The role she (Marta Andreason) played in the past, what I feel was a certain scandalising of issues, is not really one we want endorsed by her becoming vice-chairman," she said. Well, no Inge. That's because you got your hand smacked as you were getting it out of the money pots!

This is the glorious EU outfit that we are told is good for Europe. No more good for us than swine flu is. Seeing as there are so many swine in that place, one would have thought the flu would have hit them by now!

Ministry of Defence run by scoundrels!

My, my! What a shower we have running the MoD. For years they have been condoning the filthy state of service quarters, the lack of proper equipment for the military and the generally deplorable way soldiers are treated after discharge. It is the chiselling way in which the country is told of things in general that sticks in the craw.

Now we find that they are incompetent at finance as well. Maybe they are lining their own pockets, who knows. What we do know is that £155 million which was said to have been spent on radio equipment in Afghanistan could not be accounted for. Is this the tip of the iceberg?

James Arbuthnot, chairman of the defence select committee, said the MoD needed to "get a grip" on its spending. "There are real concerns, given the importance of what the armed forces are doing, and the sacrifices they are making on our behalf, that the Ministry of Defence is almost breaking apart." Nest of vipers, I say. And they have the brass neck to complain about Sir Richard Dannatt.

When will it become clear to those in government that these people cannot be trusted. We need a complete clearout so that the MoD can be staffed by honourable people, not those driven to concocting falsehoods, calumnies and economies with the truth.

No Christian can be on an adoption panel!

Northamptonshire County Council, bowing to the New Labour doctrines, has barred a Christian doctor from an adoption panel. Dr Sheila Matthews was told that her beliefs on gay adoption were incompatible with equality legislation and council policies. The paediatrician had asked to be allowed to abstain from voting in cases involving same-sex couples. But that led to her being barred from the panel altogether.

The married mother of one said she had been "made to pay for being honest and upholding my personal integrity. I don't feel that placing children for adoption with same-sex couples is the best place for them," said the 50-year-old doctor. "As a Christian, I don't believe it's it's an appropriate lifestyle and I don't believe the outcomes for children would be as good as if they were placed with heterosexual couples."

It seems now that Christians cannot go anywhere near social policy or child welfare, even if they seek to abstain from majority opinion. As far as Northampton County Council is concerned the very mindset of a Christian is to be deplored. As I understand it, Dr.Matthews was not trying to prevent this homosexual couple from adopting, just expressing her views.

It is a sorry state we have come to when county councils are run by self-righteous apparatchiks who believe it is their way or the highway!

Ulrika Jonnson has the body of 16-year old!

The Swedish star of screen, stage and sidewalk (or should that be catwalk, or boardwalk...?) is now proudly boasting that, after £11,000 worth of cosmetic surgery, she has the body of a 16-year old. Good thing the surgery didn't make her a year younger otherwise her hubbie could be in trouble, even under New Labour laws!

Looking at the finished result, she does look rather good. However I'd say she was exaggerating a bit on the age reduction point. And if at 41 she look like a glamorous 41-year old how will she look at twice the age? An 82-year old Michael Jackson lookalike is not that appealing. I would urge that she quits whilst she is ahead in the beauty stakes!

One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest!

What is to become of us? Is swine flu an epidemic of frightening proportions or just something mildly worse than so-called ordinary flu? I heard Andy Burnham on the radio and TV this morning. To say that the interviewers were exasperated with him is to be kind. The man was giving all manner of mixed messages. It apparently is up to us to decide. Pregnant women should not be too alarmed but try not to go to a party with inveterate sneezers. Airlines can be zealous about removing passengers with slight colds. And so on.

Burnham should get tough. He should use this swine flu thing to repeat the message about handwashing. There are far too many dirty-habited people in this country. Whenever I go to a public loo (always assuming I can find one) invariably some man or boy walks out without washing their hands. Fancy shaking hands after that? Burnham is being far too coy. Tell it as it is! For goodness sake. I went on a school trip once and stood guard at the door. Any boy trying to escape unwashed was summarily ordered back. I have to say there was more than one culprit. It doesn't surprise me that this is spreading. If sneezed into hands and general hygiene is anything to go by.

There was a woman on the radio yesterday saying she was experimenting with flu vaccines on ferrets. Now that's where it all went wrong in Mexico. We should have had ferret flu instead. So rather than wringing our hands instead of washing them, we would be down on our knees praying to St.Vitus for a miracle or too. Perhaps one miracle would be the sudden disappearance of this hapless government.

Royal Air Force to be scrapped?

Not content with deceiving the nation about the helicopter issue, Gordon Brown is still rambling on as if the tooth fairy was in charge of the exchequer. Appearing before a committee of MPs on Thursday, Gordon Brown dismissed as 'ridiculous' claims that Whitehall mandarins are preparing 'doomsday' cuts to the public spending budget of up to 20 per cent. That's what he told MPs.

Over the past few weeks, teams of Treasury officials have, indeed, been planning for huge spending cuts across government departments. As an example of the scale of this exercise, the Ministry of Defence team is looking at the radical step of closing down the Royal Air Force and incorporating our airpower inside the Army and the Navy.

So Gordon Brown doesn't know about these ideas and these plans? The very fact that civil servants should be contemplating putting the bulk of the RAF into some museum and merging the remainder is testament to where we actually are as a nation.

This piece of news was hidden away in Peter Oborne's column in the Daily Mail. I trust those MPs asking the questions on thursday are away of the real subterfuge going on. Getting Brown to chat about things will be the least positive way to uncover the truth. We need to know what is intended. The Royal Air force no more? I doubt if the country would accept that. Gordon Brown needs to come clean and stop this continued habit of telling porkies.

Cherie Blair has swine flu



"Good Grief! It's a pig!"

It was bound to get into the higher echelons of society. Cherie Blair has apparently picked it up. The one thing the swine flu viruses are is that they are not choosy. They will pick on anybody at random. Of course, a good round of public sneezing helps them on their way. I suspect that many stay on at work when they should not. I am aware of people around me who know people who are getting it. Up till now I have been in that position of being three people away from the germs. I've been lucky but I'm told by some that getting it will give me immunity, which kind of flies in the face of government advice. But immunity only from swine flu. The next dose could be horse flu or even worse elephant flu!
I trust Mrs Blair will have a mild version of the porcine variety and recover soon.

US ship in ancient Tower ceremony

There is a special relationship between the US and the UK. Not the one where the British prime minister tries it on with the American president for this that and the other. No this is just the special things in life that the two peoples like to do. For instance, the Americans put on a great show last year for the Queen when she visited the Jamestown settlement in Virginia on the 400th anniversary of English settlers' first appearance there. Then there is the unique situation of a small patch of land, an acre, in Runnymede, Surrey being sovereign US territory, given to the Americans. This is where the Kennedy Memorial stands.

Now it has occurred that for the first time since the ceremony began in the Middle Ages that a non-British ship has taken part in the Constable's Dues ritual at the Tower of London, which involved the crew being challenged for entry into the capital. I'm sure the sailors and officers of USS Halyburton will remember the day and be able to say "I was in that ceremony as the first Americans involved".

Life peers no longer to get life!

Keen to keeping the meddling and the messing about with the constitution ticking away, the government has decided to include a measure in a Constitutional Reform Bill for the right of life peers to resign from the House of Lords - something hereditary peers have been able to do since 1963. This is due to go before Parliament on Monday.

The bill will also bring an end to the hereditary principle. The fourteenth Mr.Brown is keen to kick out the last remaining earls, countesses and other "heriditaries" as New Labour mockingly calls them.

It's all a mean-spirited device. I would far rather have a few lords left, like the Earl of Onslow and the Countess of Mar giving sage advice and providing pertinent points about badly-drafted bills than an elected bunch of self-serving apparatchiks. Mandelson and Brown talk about democracy but they have been the worst abusers of democracy this country has ever seen or had the misfortune to endure.

I cannot for the life of me see which life peer would want to resign from the House of Lords in order to fight an election to be able to sit in the House of Commons. The fourteenth Earl of Home resigned his title in order to become prime minister in 1963 but that was because he had no choice in holding his title. Viscount Thurso has not ceased to hold his hereditary title but he currently sits as a Liberal Democrat MP (John Thurso) because he is not one of the remaining 92 heriditary peers in the House of Lords. Life peers had a choice whether to receive the title or not.

Which life peer right now wants to scarper and stand in the general election next year? Finding one would be as difficult as searching for a needle in a haystack. The miscievous Lord Mandelson just stoked an imaginary bonfire with his usual wit. Asked last month by the Financial Times whether he might renounce his peerage and stand again as an MP, Lord Mandelson said, "It's not legally possible to do that. I am trapped. I believe it is for life." The peer, who insisted he was "teasing", added, "Of course, you could always change the law."

Well don't change the law. Leave things well alone and bother yourself with getting the helicopters to Afghanistan. Nobody is going to die because the 2nd Baron Strathclyde is the Conservative leader in the Lords but they will die in Afghanistan if the military advice is ignored for squalid political cheeseparing!

Henry Allingham RIP

Henry Allingham lived to be 113 and become the world's oldest man. If one lives that long the world changes considerably. However, men like Henry never change in their core beliefs or their approach to human relationships. He appeared to be a decent man at all times.

There are not many people living today who were born into the reign of Queen Victoria. He saw so much change and he was able to appreciate it to the end, which is a godsend in itself. Much has been written about him and anyone who lives that long is revered and respected by others. Wikipedia has a lot about him plus loads of relevant links.

I have to admit that recently, each time his name was mentioned, I thought, well, it must be anytime now, surely. Not wishing him away, but general curiosity about life and death. I will always remember a radio programme that Michael Buerk did a few years ago on Radio4. It was a summer break thing for Any Questions?. As with that programme, people were encouraged to phone in for a discussion. A 92-year old did just that. Buerk was asking him something, then suggested that a man of such an age could "go tomorrow", so why was he so concerned (in typical Michael Buerk blooper fashion!). The reply came back, like bullet from a gun, "I'm well aware of that, you know!" and then, in sprightly fashion, went on to say what he thought the government should do about whatever the subject was.

That exchange will stick with me. Because it doesn't matter what age you are, you should be interested in things, involved as far as you can be. I think those who just give up are more likely to have a less full-filling life and "go" earlier than they might. Of course, good health has everything to do with it. Henry Allingham just died of extreme old age it seems. I don't know at what age you start to think each morning when you wake up, "My goodness, I'm still alive!", but it must have crossed Henry Allingham's mind. Just when you wake up, mind, not for the whole day. He said life was for living. It is, and he lived it well by all accounts.

Angelina Jolie is ultimate lesbian heroine

Of all papers The Daily Telegraph is featuring a poll of 2,600 lesbians to find out which woman, famous that is, ranked as the world's ultimate lesbian heroine. That's the lesbian world because I don't think it covers the whole world. No more than a poll of 2,600 Top Gear fans voting for the best race round a motor track by Stig would represent the whole world's opinion.

It's all a bit of fun. I'd never have guessed Dolly Parton was in the top twenty at No.20 - she could feature in a whole host of polls including best wig, best cleavage, best singer, best anything. Angelina Jolie comes in at No.1 making her a real icon. But this woman has six kids and knows Brad Pitt intimately (that should be the other way round!). "Angelina was the clear winner; and she also has a dark side which many lesbians like too," said a spokesman for One Poll who carried out he survey.

I'm just wondering who else was on the list. Those in the lower rankings. That could through up all manner of names. But we don't get told. Pity!

Gordon Brown in army helicopter fantasy!

Gordon Brown's wonderland excursion on Wednesday at PMQs was a fantasy of the first order. Now the Chief of the Defence Staff, Sir Jock Stirrup, has said the deployment of more helicopters to Afghanistan would save soldiers' lives. Brown wittered on about the exact opposite. Now he is backtracking like a boy in front of the headmaster found out for telling fibs!

David Cameron said the government must listen to military commanders. "The prime minister has been telling us all week that they have got enough helicopters and actually now we know they don't," he said. What on earth are we to make of it all?

Someone keen to keep his weasel words up to scratch is Lord Mandelson. This interview from the BBC shows why he is such a wily character.

Kay Burley brands colleague 'staggeringly sexist' live on air

Kay Burley may be Sky News star female anchor, but I find she is ever so off putting. There are several female news reporters and studio presenters on Sky who are both professional and natural. However Ms Burley can be prickly and moody. Nick Powell, a sports reporter, found himself on the rough edge of her tongue today.

I hardly think what he said was sexist. It was an opinion. Even if she was of a different mind, she could have rebuked him in a less haughty and confrontational way. It has been said that Ms Burley is sensitive about her maturing years. I'd not bother about age, but she would be well advised to stop her practise of peaking a look from under her fringe like a teenage girl infatuated with a new boy on the block. It may impress MPs but for viewing purposes it can be a trifling annoying.

I bet that sounds sexist. I'd say it was my opinion.

Stop Blair!

This has just been linked to me. The Stop Blair! petition. Anybody can sign and 1500 have so far.

Petition against the nomination of Tony Blair as "President of the European Union"

Strutting is preferred to stripping!

I can't get to terms with New Labour's perverted approach to life. On the one hand they promote gay pride marches and "encourage" firemen, policemen and ambulance staff to attend in the hope that these organisations will take some comfort in seeing garishly clothed people prancing up and down city streets. All this in broad daylight, some of the marchers dressed in very skimpy and sexually provocative outfits. In the New Labour world this is seen as normal. Those even faintly disturbed by such antics are deemed homophobic in need of social awareness training.

On the other hand, they get themselves in a high state of moral outrage over burlesque dancers. The proposed Policing and Crime Bill could see burlesque categorised as sexual entertainment. In which case, it will be adult entertainment requiring a sexual entertainment licence. No doubt a hefty fee will be wanted by the authorities. Ruby Rose founder of the Burlesque Women's Institute "It is an art form and if you start banning or licensing art forms, you've got to go across the board and look at everything. I've never yet seen anything that offends so I really don't know why it's caused such a problem". But she would need a shrink to delve into the average mind of New Labour.

I am amazed. Burlesque is hardly a problem. It's a private matter behind the closed doors of a theatre. However, the matter of provocative gay pride marchers is a problem because it is out in the open, with some people being forced to attend.

I'm not in favour of censorship but an uneven hand is very bad for lawmaking. People can have gay pride marches but surely they can be conducted without offense or coercion.

Burlesque

Allied Carpets in administration

It's not nice to see another British retail firm going bust. Allied Carpets has gone into administration, as the stagnating housing market led to a fall in demand for carpets and flooring. However, the administrators seem to think the business can be sold in part as an ongoing concern.

Such news tends to fly in the face of Gordon Brown's assumptions about the economy. It also means that administrators won't be out of work anytime soon.

Jacqui Smith "not up to being Home Secretary"!

Jacqui Smith told Total Politics magazine that she feared she was not up to being Home Secretary and wished she had been better trained for the role. She said she had "never run a major organisation" before accepting the job in 2007. "I hope I did a good job but if I did it was more by luck than by any kind of development of those skills," she adds. A great scoop for Total Politics but I'm afraid she's given politics a totally wrong impression.

A Cabinet member is not there to "run a major organisation". They are there to effect the collectively agreed policy of the government. Civil servants run government departments. Jacqui Smith's role was to see that policy was implemented and that the Home Office was run properly - by other people. But heaven help us, it was NOT her job to micro-manage it!

If we are drifting into the realms of career politicians who see themselves as hands-on CEOs we will all be the poorer. As it is, this lot leak stuff to the press before the House of Commons hears of it. If Jacqui Smith was at fault it was because she had policies that were hopelessly inadequate, because she didn't ask the right questions or because she appeared not to be in control of her brief all the time.

Getting hook-handed terrorists off the streets is the job of a motivated politician. Whether one has run a whelk stall or the largest business in the world is neither here nor there.

Banking on a Barclays' pension?

Barclays Bank is in the financial package selling business. That's basically what banks have become. High Street offices with sales people ready to sell a "product". One of the products that banks are keen to promote is the pension. The trouble is one needs an eagle-eyed proofreader to go through the small print nowadays.

It is an irony of all ironies that Barclays has contemplated stuffing their own employees as far as pensions are concerned. The closure of Barclays' final-salary pension scheme to existing members has caused the union Unite to support the idea of strike action.

One has to wonder whether these banks, not just Barclays, have any notion of being proper stewards of other peoples money. All manner of excuses are being trotted out as to why employees should consider themselves lucky to retire on paltry pensions. I know my grandmother use to say to us that there are "starving children in Africa" as if to make us feel grateful but banks are in business to make money for others by investing properly. Over the last few years they have shown themselves to be barely capable of such a thing. In fact, they have been more driven by obtaining bonuses for their own inner circle of self-serving "executives".

I'm not a conservative that blindly supports the antics of business regardless. I have been a trade unionist when in the insurance industry and remember the subterfuge that employers can sometimes be capable of. Ever since Robert Maxwell was caught raiding his staff pension fund we have been told that the funds of companies are millions of pounds adrift. Ostrich-like we have gone on as if this problem can be rectified by a fairy with a magic wand. It can't.

Banks of all businesses should know how to look after their staff as far a pension provision is concerned. Barclays obviously has failed to keep abreast of proper investment. It begs the question who in their right minds would venture into a branch of Barclays to discuss buying a pension policy when those selling the things have such a dim view of their own retirement prospects!

Gordon Brown, Humpty Dumpty and Alky Ada

Truth is something that is an elusive thing to many human beings. Some are totally devoid of ever speaking it. Most have at one time or another twisted it or been somewhat economical with it. Pontius Pilate was at a loss to understand what it actually was. He peversely asked aloud "What is truth?".

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. He told Alice that he made words mean what he wanted them to mean. This, in essence, allowed him to be either a truthful person if he felt like it or one who felt untruths were perfectly acceptable. Lewis Carrol was very wise to make Humpty Dumpty a large eggshell. Truth is sometimes as fragile as the dry brittle shell of an egg.

I don't know if Gordon Brown has read the stories of Alice, but he surely must realise that all this blatant dissembling each week at the dispatch box does us no good at all. We are not fools. We know that the army does not have enough helicopters. So why dress it up as if it has? What is the cost of maintaining an army at war? We have been constantly given false information, or half-truths, about banks, the economy, the police, the schools, you name it, the answers are always given with iffy content.

Let the nonsense stop. If we need to cut our cloth to find the cash for more helicopters, tell us! Let's get real and stop the fudging. Who are we fighting and for what reason? The Taliban are not Al Queda. Are we trying to stop the drugs trade, or create a democratic state, or what?

Far from being a children's tale, this is a lesson in semantics for us all.

"I don't know what you mean by 'glory,'" Alice said.Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.
"Of course you don't – till I tell you. I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
"But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument,'" Alice objected.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master – that's all."
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. "They've a temper, some of them – particularly verbs, they're the proudest – adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs – however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"

Gordon Brown must get off his fencesitter's seat and decide if he is man enough to lead this country rather than to deceive it.

Tony Blair to be King of Europe?

Well, not king exactly. More president of the EU edifice, chief nosey-parker and general busybody par excellence. Apparently Lady Kinnock, gravy train expert rider, thinks Blair had the "strength of character" and "status" to take on the job. She further waffles that "People know who he is, and he could step into this new role with a lot of respect and he would be generally welcomed." Is she deluded? This is a man who has a very tenuous grasp of the truth, a man who is generally devoid of political principle and who has a mental shuffling capacity known to no other man. I say man, because Lady Kinnock seems to be prepared to follow his lead and foist this dodgy dossier developer onto the European people.

William Hague is spot on with his analysis. "Any holder (of the EU presidency) is likely to try to centralise power for themselves in Brussels and dominate national foreign policies. In the hands of an operator as ambitious as Tony Blair, that is a near certainty. He should be let nowhere near the job." Nowhere near at all. Outer space is too close!

President Blair? No thank you!

US Church drops gay bishops ban - tatty bye, Mrs Schori!

The Episcopal Church in the United States is heading for a divorce from the Anglican communion. Hell-bent on creating new dogmas and doctrines to fit in with the fleeting chances of this world, the bishops of this church have decided to drop the ban on bishops living in homosexual relationships. Archbishop Rowan Williams, trying to keep communion with Canterbury alive, says, "I regret the fact that there is no will to observe the moratorium in such a significant part of the church in North America." There was fat chance of such observation lasting.

Ever since Mrs.Schori took over, the Episcopal Church has become a libertine's haven where those in charge spend every waking hour trying to root out traditional belief and adherence to biblical teaching. A knock at the door, a rude letter, a shifty telephone call - all ways to keep the new morality bouncing along.

So it looks like the Episcopal Church will drift away from Anglicanism to run a sect offering an a la carte menu of beliefs with a kind of doctrine of the day to attract new believers. Sad, but there it is. No use getting too worked up about it. There are worse things in the world to be bothering about.

Bishop stoops to conquer swine flu!

One wonders if this swine flu epidemic is not so much about the virus itself more about ourselves. Ever since the Mexicans decided that several of their badly kept pigs were somewhat off colour we have been given as many mixed messages about the wretched disease as there are germs making the stuff up.

It has been a godsend to the Murdoch press. They can conveniently forget "underlying health problems" and trumpet the ghastly deaths in as much gory detail as their fevered imaginations can allow. And if Sun readers do not know what swine are, emblazon the rag with "PIG FLU!" - that leaves no misunderstanding.

Of course, if it hadn't been pigs it could have been some other animal. "Cyril's got mouse flu!" doesn't quite hit the same panic buttons. We are told that this flu is marginally worse than so-called ordinary flu, which also kills people. We love a good panic it seems.

Weighing into this ten cents debate comes the Bishop of Chelmsford. He has suddenly developed an aversion to stoups in churches. He thinks the holy water may infect the faithful. The Daily Telegraph has some wonderful quotes from the bishop and his demuring chaplain. Now let's put it into context. Reading the report you would think that this is a grave problem for his diocese and those beyond. The truth is that few Anglican churches have stoups or use holy water in a sacramental way, apart from baptisms themselves.

The bishop opines, with some severity, "The water contained in stoups can easily become a source of infection and a means of rapidly spreading the virus. This practice should be suspended." I doubt that it will. Bishop Gladwin is what is called an open evangelical. Such Christians of this tradition rarely use stoups or believe in such things. No, he is suggesting that Catholic Anglicans should think again. I doubt if my priest will be running to church this morning, toolkit in hand, to remove our stoups. Perish the thought.

The bishop also discouraged pastoral visits and said if a visit was necessary priests should wear sterile gloves, an apron and a face mask. "Is that you, father? Or matron? Or doctor?" Can you imagine a priest on a pastoral visit looking like nuclear weapons inspector?

No, the bishop needs to get a grip of himself. He should be far more concerned by the introduction of bogus doctrines and secular fantasies into the church. Oh, and he needs to be on the look-out for presbyterian prime ministers bearing gifts. One of which may be a poisoned chalice as far as the consitution is concerned!