Prince William to marry next year

There's some good news suddenly. Lot's of it, in fact. We need a bit considering all the gloom financially. Prince William has decided to make an honest woman of Kate Middleton. Or is it the other way round? From what the BBC is saying, it was Miss Middleton who had her eyes on Prince William at least as far back as 10 years and steadily pursued her prince. Now it is all official and everyone seems pleased. Prince Charles is pleased. "Well, he's been practising long enough" was the merry quip. Assuming all goes to plan, Kate with become Queen Catherine.

The last queen consort of that name was Catherine of Braganza, wife of Charles II. That merry monarch practised quite a bit producing many offspring of an illegitimate kind. Despite the sprogs and the spaniels, Catherine was a loyal queen but was regarded with suspicion by many because she only spoke Portuguese and was a Roman Catholic. No such problems with Kate. She appears to be just what the public would want in a queen. As one subject delicately put it, "she's not some stuffy royal, she's from coalmining stock!". One might think a touch of the Arthur Scargills was about to descend over Buckingham Palace.

Coalmining stock is actually quite good. It did OK in Chile. And when she gets to be a royal princess (of the unstuffy variety) she can invite Sir Jimmy Savile to her court. Two for the price of one there. Court jester and former coalminer. How's about that, then?